How to pleasure a woman?
Unlike men’s arousal, women’s has no precipice. True, many women will have orgasms that they find so fully satisfying (and climactic) that they do not need to continue making love. And as we discussed earlier, some women even ejaculate. But since women do not have to worry about losing an erection or spilling their seed, they can generally surrender themselves to pleasure in a way that men cannot. Nevertheless, women do not fall into bliss without effort. Reaching orgasm, multiple orgasms, and expanded orgasms requires knowledge, skill, and effort of women just as it does of men. Here’s how you can help – the secrets of how to pleasure a woman.
In Sexual Kung Fu all aspects of touch are seen as part of the union between man and woman. Touching hands or lips is as much a part of harmonizing with one another as is intercourse. As with self-pleasuring, you probably have your own way of pleasuring your partner, and though most women have the same general erogenous zones, each woman, of course, has different sensitivities at different times. Try out these Taoist techniques, but let your partner’s preferences be your guide. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
“The essence of foreplay is slowness,” states the Discourse on the Highest Tao Under Heaven. “If one proceeds slowly and patiently, the woman will be exceedingly joyful. She will adore you. One who has mastered this Tao deserves to be called a heavenly gentleman.” Because anticipation and growing intensity are important in bringing your partner’s desire to a boil, you should begin with passionate kissing. Begin at her extremities rather than her genitals. Caress, massage, and kiss her hands and wrists as well as her feet and ankles. Move up her arms and legs to her abdomen. Stimulating points along the meridians of her body (energy channels) will help increase her sexual excitement: there are many points along or near her spine (the Back Channel), such as the small of her back, her neck, and her ears. The underside of the arms and the inside of the thighs are also very sensitive on most women. By caress, we mean that your touch should generally be featherweight, although it can be heavier when you are stimulating larger muscles such as her buttocks. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
As we mentioned earlier, when you approach her breasts, spiral around them in ever narrower circles until you slowly reach her nipples. Most men go for the nipples too soon. (Old breast-feeding instincts, perhaps.) Circling them slowly will draw her sexual energy to her nipples. Also, remember to rub your thumbs and forefingers together to generate more chi Finally, touch her nipples lightly, and try rolling them between your thumbs and index fingers. (You can touch both breasts or just focus on one at a time.) Some women enjoy harder squeezing and fondling, but let your partner’s responses guide you. As we already mentioned, your tongue is highly charged with chi, and using it to lick, spiral around, and suck on her nipple is often an excellent way to arouse her. If her nipples become engorged and erect, you are doing something right. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
In approaching your partner’s genitals, it is best to stimulate her inner thighs, mons, and vaginal lips before approaching the clitoris. Imagine that you are moving through concentric circles of increasing pleasure and intensity. When you finally approach her clitoris, her sexual energy and excitement will be enormous and you will find out how to plasure a woman.
Each woman likes to have her clitoris touched differently, and you need to become the expert in her particular pleasure. Even more important than where to touch is how to touch. Using your finger, stroke or spiral evenly – not too fast, not too slow. Avoid big movements: the clitoris’s sensitivity is far more concentrated than that of the penis, and you are better off with more focused, subtler movements than with the kind of vigorous stimulation that most men enjoy. Keep on reading to find out how to pleasure a woman.
As for where to touch, you are best off starting with the less sensitive parts of this very sensitive sex organ. Try stroking the base and sides of the clitoris. Then try stroking the hood and rolling the clitoris between your thumb and index finger – gently! Remember to touch the hood first, before touching the extremely sensitive glans. Experiment with different strokes and varying degrees of pressure. If your partner likes it, she will push her genitals slightly toward you for more stimulation. Moans, sighs, pants, jerking muscles, curling toes, and sweat, as well as smiles and other facial expressions, are all good signs. If your touch is too heavy or uncomfortable, she will pull her pelvis slightly away. Lighten up or try another stroke. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
TONGUE KUNG FU
Although effective, fingers are not ideal, because they are not nearly as sensitive as your partner’s clitoris. The hardness of the bones in your fingers and the sharpness of your nails can be painful. (Always make sure your nails are short and smooth.) For this reason, your tongue is much better suited to the task. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
There have been many jokes about oral sex and its attendant smells and tastes. There are men who grimace at the thought and men who smile with fond memories. One multi-orgasmic man described his conversion to an oral-sex fan: “In the past, I definitely didn’t like to use my tongue because it felt like I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I was kind of selfish, really – I was a getter. And now my partner will be having these incredible orgasms because of what I am doing with my tongue, and it feels great to watch. I even start tingling in my body. It’s true what the Tao says about when you are in tune. I get by giving. This is something a lot of guys miss. I know I did for a long time.” Whatever your personal feelings are about oral sex, you should know that it is probably the fastest way to get a woman’s vaginal juices flowing inpreparation for lovemaking. As we discussed earlier, it is also the easiest, and for some women the only, way in which they have an orgasm. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
If you are not a cunnilingus fan, you do not have to dive in headfirst. If you use your tongue on your partner’s clitoris, your nose and face will be nearest her mons and lower abdomen. If it is the odor that you object to, you and she can try bathing together or using scented oils. (We should mention that many men are turned on by, or overtime come to be turned on by, the smell of their partner’s vagina.) Best, of course, is not to focus initially or exclusively on her clitoris: use your tongue to touch her inner lips, the sensitive spot at the base of her vagina, and her perineum as well. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
It is also important not to get overly fixated on her genitals to the exclusion of the rest of her body. Some women feel disconnected during oral sex, and this feeling can be lessened by using your hands to continue caressing her legs, belly, breasts, hands, and face. Many women find that having their nipples stimulated during oral sex can heighten their pleasure immensely. Other women find that this distracts them from the intensity of clitoral stimulation. As for clitoral techniques, you probably will want to try a combination of brushing with your lips, flicking with your tongue, and sucking with your mouth. Alternating between using your tongue and gently sucking her clitoris into your mouth can be extremely pleasurable. Again, be careful of too much pressure. Light, consistent, and rhythmic pressure is generally best. I hope you are getting the idea – how to pleasure a woman!
Many men mistakenly think that oral sex involves inserting their tongue into their partner’s vagina. This is not generally the case, since the tongue is usually too short and too soft to stimulate a woman's vagina successfully, although Taoists do recommend a technique for stimulating the G spot by hooking your tongue and pulling back. It's worth a try – especially if you have a strong tongue! Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
(You actually can strengthen your tongue by sticking it out and then pulling it in like a snake as fast as you can for a minute or two. Practice as often as you can.)
Generally, your fingers are more effective than your tongue for stimulating the inside of your partner’s vagina. You can use one finger (or, if she’s very aroused, two fingers) to enter her. Circle around the wall of her vagina to find where she is most sensitive. Don’t forget to try the G spot about an inch or two behind her clitoris. You may also wish to thrust your fingers in and out (slowly at first), simulating the action of your penis. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
At this point, your partner’s desire is probably close to boiling and she is eager for you to enter her. But do not enter her quite yet. Hold your penis in your hand as if you were about to guide it into her vagina. But before entering, rub the head of your penis against her clitoris. This will help bring her passion to a rapid boil. Then enter her gradually, first about an inch, then two, and then pull back a little so that your penis is just inside the entrance to her vagina. This slow, lingering approach will help you control your own desire and will allow you to begin a thrusting pattern, which will bring both of you to the peak of pleasure many times. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
If she is multi-orgasmic, you may want to help bring her to orgasm before you enter her, or you may want to wait until you have entered her. If she has already orgasmed at least once, she may be more patient with your need to stop momentarily during lovemaking as you approach the point of no return. Also, when you are making love her orgasms actually will help you control your ejaculation. As the Taoists understand it, water (vaginal fluid)cools down fire. As you gain greater mastery over your urge to ejaculate, this will be less of a concern because you will be able to use your breath and your mind more effectively to control this urge and will need to interrupt the rhythm of lovemaking less often. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
CHARGING HER EROTIC CIRCUITS
While pleasuring your partner, you should try to avoid sexual Scripts or patterns of lovemaking that can become routine. The sequence for pleasuring your partner described in the previous section is not the only one. It generally follows the pattern of arousal for most women, but not necessarily all women and certainly not at all times. During a "quickie,” for example, you might want to jump right to oral sex. Mix and match. See what your partner wants and what the mood ofthe moment is. Although techniques can help you satisfy your partner, it is worth bearing in mind Herant Katchadourian’s advice in his Fundamentals of Human Sexuality: “A simplistic search for bodily levers and push-buttons, leads to mechanical sex since the energy that charges the erotic circuits is emotion.” Knowledge of your partner’s body is essential, but there is no substitute for sincere affection. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
Most porn movies portray men thrusting in and out, sawing away until they ejaculate. It is no surprise that this is therefore what most men think they should do. In fact, this thrusting rhythm is a recipe for fast ejaculation and little satisfaction for either the man or the woman. The Taoists recognized that proper thrusting was essential for coital pleasure, ejaculatory control, and sexual health. Yet even more important than any particular technique is making sure your partner is already highly aroused. Thrusting in too soon (before she is highly lubricated) should be avoided at all costs. Even if she is eager for you to enter her, a slow hand and pelvis will raise her anticipation and help you control your ejaculation. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
FINDING YOUR RHYTHM
The Taoists developed numerous different thrusting patterns, most of which involved varying between shallow thrusts and deep thrusts (see figure 20). All of these patterns encouraged the man to thrust shallowly a number of times before thrusting deeply, the most common involving nine shallow and one deep. (As you learn to control your ejaculation, you can lessen the ratio to six or even three shallow to one deep.) Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
Alternating between shallow and deep thrusts will not only help you last longer; it will also thrill your partner. The deep thrust pushes all of the air out of her vagina, creating a vacuum, which the shallow thrusts intensify. You want to avoid withdrawing completely, which breaks the seal of the vacuum; instead, pull back so that you are about an inch or so inside her. One multi-orgasmic man described his experience: “When I read about this Taoist thrusting technique I really didn’t believe it would work, but women just go crazy: they love the shallow and deep. They orgasm a lot quicker and can have two or three before I get to one. In the past, I couldn’t last long enough to get a woman to that point.” Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
More important than any particular number of shallow and deep thrusts is practicing a basic rhythm that you can maintain and that both you and your partner can enjoy for prolonged periods of time. Don't allow your thrusting to become mechanical by getting lost in counting off numbers. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
When most men thrust deeply, they pull back all the way, which rubs the head of their penis – their most sensitive spot – against the full length of their partner’s vagina. If you have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, this in-out deep thrust is especially valuable (see the Soft Entry exercise). However, as you can imagine, this thrust is also highly arousing and ordinarily leads to quick ejaculation.
For this reason, the Taoist masters developed the up-down deep thrust. This thrust uses the base of your penis, which is your least sensitive spot, to stimulate your partner’s clitoris, which is her most sensitive spot (see figure 21). The benefits for postponing ejaculation are obvious. Instead of pulling back, you can stay deep inside your partner and thrust up and down repeatedly. This is especially important when she is in the midst of orgasming and wants you deep inside her but you are close to the edge. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
orgasmic during intercourse than others. You will be able to stimulate some women clitorally just by using the up-down deep thrust, while others will need the help of your fingers. Either way, this thrust will help you immeasurably during the most intense throes of lovemaking.
Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
TO BE CONTINUED ….