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Let me introduce you to one of the gurus in our field and the author of The Secrets of Female Sexuality – David Shade!
Still wondering how to pleasure a woman?
In addition to depth, you can also vary the direction in which you thrust. According to Chinese medicine, the parts of the vagina, like the parts of the penis, correspond to the organs and glands of the body (see figure 22). To truly satisfy and energize your partner, you will need to stimulate her entire vagina during lovemaking. This may seem like a lot of work, and you will not be able to do it every time you make love, but the more of her vagina you can massage with your penis, the better. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
Begin by thrusting shallow – left and right, top and bottom. Then thrust deep and, while staying deep, use the base of your shaft to rub up and down against your partner’s clitoris and the head of your penis to rub gently against her cervix. Now pull back at an angle, which stimulates the walls of her vagina. (Once you have learned to differentiate between shallow and deep, you can also explore the middle depth.) Remember, women have different spots of greatest sensitivity, so thrusting in different directions has the greatest chance of satisfying your partner.
In addition to depth and direction, you can also vary the speed at which you thrust. The seventh-century physician Li Tung-hsüan Tzu waxed poetic about nine different kinds of thrusts that offer your partner a range of depths, directions, and speeds:
1. Strike left and right as a brave general breaking through the enemy’s ranks. [The battle-of-the-sexes imagery was not completely absent from Taoist sexuality.]
2. Rise and suddenly plunge like a wild horse bucking through a mountain stream.
3. Push in and pull out like a flock of seagulls playing on the waves.
4. Use deep thrusts and shallow teasing strokes, like a sparrow plucking pieces of rice.
5. Make shallow and then deeper thrusts in steady succession [to the left and right], like a large stone sinking into the sea.
6. Push in slowly as a snake entering its hole.
7. Charge quickly like a frightened mouse running into its hole.
8. Hover and then strike like an eagle catching an elusive hare.
9. Rise up and then plunge down low like a great sailboat in a wild wind.
In the end you will put the various thrusts you have learned together in your own special pelvic rhythm depending on the time and place – and the pleasure desired. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
The Advanced Art of Screwing
When most men thrust, they stimulate only a small part of their partner's entire vagina. This is why advanced Sexual Kung Fu involves “screwing” rather than “thrusting.” Although the word screw has come to have vulgar connotations in our culture, it is actually quite accurate to describe the spiraling action the Tao suggests for truly pleasuring your partner (and yourself). Instead of thrusting forward and pulling back, you should “screw” your hips or ideally your sacrum in half circles, first on one side and then the other. One multi-orgasmic man explained his technique: “I will go in circling and come out circling. Play with one side and then play with the other side. I go shallow and then I go deeper, playing with one side and then the other. And then I do a lot more circles. And I’ve found that a lot of women really love this, especially when having their later orgasms."
More experienced lovers the world over have discovered the effectiveness of moving their hips during lovemaking, and many men find that rocking their shoulders initially helps them to rotate their sacrum or their hips. Your hips, however, are not nearly as subtle and effective as your sacrum, which sits at the center of the pelvis (see figure 23), According to the Tao, it is the sacrum that controls the penis. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
Rotating Your Sacrum
At first your rotations will probably come from your hips or pelvis, since, unless you do a lot of Latin or African dance, you are probably not used to rotating your sacrum. Give it time, hut eventually you will be able to spiral, to “screw,” with subtle movements of your sacrum. To isolate your sacrum, put one hand on your pubis and one hand on your sacrum and try to spiral left and then right. Next, try tilting your penis up as you push your tailbone (the base of your sacrum) forward (curving your back out slightly), and then try tilting your penis down as you push your tailbone back (arching your spine slightly). Once you have isolated your sacrum, you can really screw.
According to the Tao, a nail (thrusting straight in) comes out easily, but a screw (circling) stays in a long time. Elvis Presley used these pelvic (actually, sacral) gyrations onstage to great effect and great popularity, and you will find that you are met with similar applause in the headroom once you master this technique. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
There is even a time and a place for the old bedspring-squeaking hard thrusting, especially if' your partner likes very deep penetration and you have a lot at' control. One multi-orgasmic man explained: “Women usually like the hard thrusting later on after they are relaxed. If it's too soon, it can be a bit painful. So as the night goes on I find myself thrusting harder because their passion is ready for it. If it gets to be too much for me, I really need to breathe and if absolutely necessary sometimes to pull out and use my tongue and fingers.” One of the benefits of using a condom – one that we discuss in the section called "When to Start: A Few Words About Safer Sex” later in this chapter – is that by desensitizing your penis you can make your lovemaking last longer, especially if your partner wants you to thrust hard and deep. But you need to make sure you stay connected to your groin and monitor your rising arousal rate.
The more you practice, the more control you will develop and the less you will need to pull out. One multi-orgasmic man explained what he does when he approaches the point of no return: “When I am making love and start feeling like I am going to come, I really try to listen to my body, and share with my partner where I am and how close I am getting. And if I get real close, I’ll stop and do the deep breathing, which will get my body to relax.”
You are almost always better off starting with slow thrusts or spirals. (The Taoist practice is the opposite of the hurried, short, and selfish sentiment expressed in the popular description of male sexuality "Wham, barn, thank you, "ma’am.”) Like all physical and spiritual practices, lovemaking requires both discipline and innovation. You are interested in both: a general pattern of pleasurable thrusting/screwing and a variety of spontaneous changes in depth, speed, and direction. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
The Big Draw for Two
We introduced the Big Draw technique before but will discuss it here for you to practice with your partner. In the Big Draw during lovemaking, you will both be trying to multiply and expand your orgasms within yourselves. In the Soul- Mating exercise described later in this chapter, you will also learn to exchange sexual energy with your partner, but for now simply learn to circulate your sexual energy within your own body.
We have divided this practice into its sequential stages so that you can learn it more easily, but when you use it with your partner, it should blend together into a fluid and graceful experience.
It may seem difficult at first to stop yourself from ejaculating given all the pleasurable sensations and expansive desire you feel with your partner. You should keep in mind that you are training your body in this practice and that each time you succeed it becomes easier the next time. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
The time between when you start to experience arousal and when an orgasm is imminent is the time you should draw the energy up. If you wait too long, you may not be able to stop it from pouring out. As you become able to separate orgasm from ejaculation, you can draw the energy up as you are experiencing the contractile-phase genital contractions, expanding the orgasm throughout your body.
If you have trouble drawing the energy up to your head, first draw it up to your tailbone and feel it entering your sacrum and the point on your spine opposite your navel from where you can pour the energy into the navel. Once it has pooled there, try to draw it the rest of the way to your head.
TALKING WITH YOUR PARTNER
At first the Sexual Kung Fu practice may seem a little awkward and an interruption in your lovemaking, but it will quickly become increasingly natural and part of a less frenetic, but much more meaningful and pleasurable, style of lovemaking. However, in the meantime it will require support and patience from your partner, which is why it is important to explain to your partner what you are doing. One multi-orgasmic man remembered: “My girlfriend responded in a very open and positive way. Her reaction was certainly influenced by the fact that our sex quickly became more beautiful. It was also quite important that I practiced often by myself so I rarely had to interrupt our lovemaking to control ejaculation. Of course, it was certainly necessary to explain to my partner what I was doing so she could understand the process.” Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
You can encourage your partner to read, but if timing and passion do not afford you this opportunity, you will want to tell her in a few breathless words what you are doing. One multi-orgasmic man described how he explains his practice: “I tell the woman I am with that my sexual philosophy now is this Taoist philosophy. And I ask her for help. Usually I wait until after we’ve been in bed for a while, and I’ll say, ‘There’s going to come a time where I may need you to help me to stop. You know, I might need to withdraw, I might need to have a little bit of slowing down.’ So I let them know why I might want to do that, and what my thinking is. I find that women really respect it and they love hearing about it and it is exciting to them.”
THE BIG DRAW DURING LOVEMAKING
When you are both highly aroused, stop and hold each other. Look deeply into each other's eyes. Truly see your partner's inner goodness, and express the depth of your love for her with your eyes. Keeping your eyes open also helps bring the energy up. Send each other energy through your gaze, your lips, the palms of your hands, and the surface of your skin. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
When your partner is highly aroused, use the head of your penis to rub her inner vaginal lips and especially her clitoris. When she is ready, you will be able to tell by her swollen lips and clitoris and the abundance of her vaginal juices. Enter your partner slowly. You may want to start with a pattern of nine shallow thrusts and one deep thrust. (Remember, these are general guidelines, not rules.)
While still inside your partner, lightly contract the head and base of your penis and your PC muscle. You will be using your mind as well as your pelvic muscles to squeeze these "round" muscles. If necessary, use your fingers to squeeze the base of your penis.
When you feel you are near orgasm, pull back so that only about an inch or two of your penis (the head, mostly) is inside your partner's vagina. Make sure you communicate to your partner that you are close to the edge and that she needs to avoid pushing you over the edge. (Pull out all the way only if absolutely necessary.)
Squeeze your anus and use your mind to draw the energy up from the tip of your penis, through your perineum and tailbone, and up your spine to your head (see the Cool Draw and the Big Draw). This will help spread the orgasmic energy from your genitals, decreasing the urge to ejaculate while expanding your orgasm from a genital orgasm to a whole-body orgasm. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
Relaxing allows the blood vessels in your penis to dilate and allows you to exchange more of your sexual energy with your partner. Your erection may decrease somewhat, which will let the hormone-filled blood return to fortify the rest of your body and allow new blood to flow into your penis when you get hard again. Continue holding each other, kissing, and circulating energy. When ready, you can continue thrusting/screwing and repeat the Big Draw until both of you are completely satisfied.
It is essential that you tell your partner enough so that she can support your practice. As one multi-orgasmic man explained, “When I am really starting to feel my pumpers wanting to start to pump, I have to slow down more often and sort of just breathe and do the practice. And that’s when I start explaining to them what I am doing and why I am doing it, why it is important to me and I think it is important to both of us. Before I explain what I am doing, a lot of women, when I say I am about to come, will say, ‘Well, come, come. I like it when you come.’ That’s when I say, ‘I really appreciate that you want to do that for me, but I don’t want to come because I don’t want to fall asleep right away. I want to have fun. I want to keep my energy up.’ And they just understand why, every once in a while, I will need to pull back and take some deep breaths.”
Positions for Pleasure and Health
The Taoists were highly inventive in coming up with new and interesting sexual positions, However, for the Taoists these positions were not just for variety; each had a different energetic and healing function. They believed that love expressed through sexuality was the most potent medicine, and a Taoist physician might prescribe several weeks of dedicated lovemaking in a specific position for a particular ailment. If you want to explore these various positions with your partner and use them for self-healing, they are described in Healing Lowe Through the Tao Cultiva ing Female Sexual Energy (see appendix). Here we will give the basic and most important positions;, as well as some general advice for whatever position you choose. These positions can help enormously in accommodating different body sizes and genital sizes, as well as stimulating different sexual sensitivities. As you and your partner refine your understanding of your sexual pleasures, you will be able to select positions that match these preferences. :
FINDING THE WAY
Before we discuss specific positions, there are two basic guidelines that will help you select the correct position for the mood and moment.
1. For relaxing and harmonizing with your partner, place similar body parts together: lips to lips, hands to hands, genitals to genitals. For stimulating and exciting one another, place dissimilar body parts together: lips to ear, mouth to genitals, genitals to anus.
2. The person who moves (generally the person on top) gives the most energy to the other partner. The person underneath can move as well to complement the movement of the person on top. This will help expand, circulate, and exchange the chi more quickly. In the West we assume that the person on top is dominant. How different is the Taoist understanding that the person on top is actually serving the other by sending the most healing energy to him or her. Passion and health, not power, are the main concerns of the skilled Taoist. Your lovemaking should observe these guidelines so that you and your partner both harmonize and excite, heal and are healed. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
MAN ON TOP
Even before missionaries made their way to China, the Taoists were well acquainted with the position in which the man lies on top of the woman, usually supporting himself on his hands or elbows. One of the primary benefits of this position is that you and your partner can gaze into each other’s eyes and kiss passionately. The face-to-face position is deeply satisfying to your emotions and sense organs, all five of which (eyes, tongue, ear, nose, and skin) come into direct contact. These organs, especially your tongue and eyes, are major carriers of life-force energy (see “Sexing the Spirit” later in this chapter). Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
In this position your partner can run her hand along your spine to help you draw your energy up to your head. Also in this position many parts of your body – legs, belly, chest, and so on – are in contact with hers, and your weight on your partner’s pubic bone and breasts can help her become aroused quickly. This position also allows you to use your thrusting and screwing techniques, both to satisfy your partner and to maintain control of your arousal.
The main drawbacks of the position are that your hands are usually involved in holding yourself up and that your partner’s G spot is bypassed almost entirely unless you tilt your sacrum and angle your penis up. You can address this problem by having your partner place a pillow under her buttocks so that her pelvis is tilted back. She can also drape her legs over your arms or shoulders, which has the same effect as the pillow and also allows you to penetrate more deeply. The higher her legs, the deeper the penetration. This is especially helpful if your partner has a relatively large vagina and you have a relatively small penis.
Remember that according to Taoism, man is like fire and woman is like water. Since women take longer to boil, it is often good for the man to begin on top. When the woman’s desire is boiling and risks quenching the man’s fire (causing him to ejaculate), you may wish to switch to the woman-on-top position, which allows the man to concentrate more easily. In this position, however, the woman must be willing to stop as the man draws close to the point of no return. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
WOMAN ON TOP
In this position, the man lies on his back and the woman straddles him. Most men find that this is the easiest position in which to learn to control their ejaculations and to become multi-orgasmic. The reason for this is that you can relax your pelvic muscles in this position and pay close attention to your arousal rate. Gravity also assists in ejaculatory control, and the man can focus on directing the energy up his spine.
Your partner, in this position, can also direct your penis to the most sensitive places in her vagina, including her G spot, which is one reason that for many women this is the easiest position in which to be (multi-)orgasmic. Your partner can also keep the head of your penis in the most sensitive outer two inches of her vagina. It is difficult for a man to remain in only the first two inches when he is on top, since he tends to want to plunge deeper into the tighter area – which, of course, also finishes him off faster. In this position your partner can spiral her sacrum so that your penis rubs against the walls of her vagina at any depth and in any direction. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
In this position, you can also use your fingers to stimulate her clitoris and help her to climax. Another benefit of this position is that you can suck or fondle your partner’s breasts while making love. According to the ancient Taoists, you can drink in your partner’s sexual energy from her lips, her vagina, and her breasts.
This position is also especially good when the man is significantly larger than the woman or tends to ejaculate quickly, or when the woman is in the later months of pregnancy (her growing belly does not get squeezed). Older men and men with heart problems also find this position of great value, since they are not required to exert a lot of energy.
SIDE BY SIDE
This position requires relatively little exertion from either partner and is therefore good for later stages of lovemaking. It does require some skill to achieve and some coordination to maintain, so it is best for lovers who know each other well. It may be easiest to begin with you on top and for you to roll to the right or left into the side-by-side position. In addition to not requiring a great deal of strenuous effort, the position has the benefit of face-to-face and Whole-body contact, both of which allow for greater exchange of energy. However, it can be uncomfortable or awkward unless your partner’s body movements and your own are well synchronized. And in this position the penetration of the penis is also quite shallow. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
MAN FROM BEHIND
This is the way animals, whose main motivation is impregnation, do it, and with good reason. In this position, as you may have noticed, your partner's vagina feels especially tight, which makes ejaculatory control more difficult. This position is therefore best when you are feeling less aroused or have developed your skill at ejaculatory control. The reason your partner feels especially tight is that in this position you enter her deeply, which is the reason women who like especially deep penetration tend to favor this position. The depth can be controlled by your partner’s angle: the more forward she bends, the deeper the penetration. This position is especially good for men with smaller penises or women with larger vaginas. This position also allows direct stimulation of your partner’s G spot, although her clitoris receives relatively indirect stimulation – a situation you can remedy with your fingers. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
SOUL-MATING (Exchanging Sexual Energy)
The pleasuring and thrusting and screwing techniques described earlier in this chapter will expand your and your partner's sexual energy to a point where it is ready to circulate. The more lubricated a woman is, the more yin energy she has. As we alluded to before, you can even drink her yin directly through oral sex or from the nipples of her breasts. It will help if you (and, ideally, your partner) have drawn the energy up and are circulating it through your own bodies (that is, through your Microcosmic Orbits).
Embrace your partner in a face-to-face position with most of your bodies in contact. If the woman is significantly lighter or weaker, she should be on top. Otherwise, it doesn't matter which person is on top. Remember to look deeply into each other's eyes: eye contact, as mentioned above, is extremely important. Send each other love and energy through your gaze.
Coordinating your breathing is essential for exchanging chi. Now that you have stopped thrusting or screwing and are holding your partner close, place your nose next to your partner's ear and your ear next to your partner's nose. This will help you hear one another's breathing. Then synchronize your breathing: you can both inhale and exhale simultaneously, or one of you can inhale while the other exhales. Keep your thoughts focused on one another and be conscious of your chests rising and falling in rhythm with one another.
To harmonize, both you and your partner must be able to circulate energy through your own Microcosmic Orbit as the first step toward balancing the Back Channel, which runs up your spine and is more yang, and the Front Channel, which runs down the front midline of your body and is more yin. Remember to draw energy up by contracting your anus and/or using your mind, and then to guide energy down the front of your body through your tongue.
1. After you have been breathing with one another for a while, you should each draw your energy from your genitals up to the crown of your head.
2. Then, while you are both inhaling, you should envision drawing her cool yin energy in from her vagina to your penis. (She should envision drawing your hot yang energy from your penis into her vagina.)
3. You should both continue drawing this energy back to your perineum and then up to your tailbone and finally up your spine to the crown of your head.
4. Then exhale and let the energy descend from the crown of your head through the midline between your eyebrows down your face and through your tongue – which, if your tongue is touching your partner's, will allow you to exchange energy through your mouths. From your tongue, the energy should be brought down the rest of your Front Channel to your navel. (You can also exchange energy from your heart through your chest to her breasts and from there down her Front Channel. She can do the same for you.)
5. Continue breathing and exchanging energy nine to eighteen times, or as long as you like.
Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
How to pleasure a woman?
Unlike men’s arousal, women’s has no precipice. True, many women will have orgasms that they find so fully satisfying (and climactic) that they do not need to continue making love. And as we discussed earlier, some women even ejaculate. But since women do not have to worry about losing an erection or spilling their seed, they can generally surrender themselves to pleasure in a way that men cannot. Nevertheless, women do not fall into bliss without effort. Reaching orgasm, multiple orgasms, and expanded orgasms requires knowledge, skill, and effort of women just as it does of men. Here’s how you can help – the secrets of how to pleasure a woman.
In Sexual Kung Fu all aspects of touch are seen as part of the union between man and woman. Touching hands or lips is as much a part of harmonizing with one another as is intercourse. As with self-pleasuring, you probably have your own way of pleasuring your partner, and though most women have the same general erogenous zones, each woman, of course, has different sensitivities at different times. Try out these Taoist techniques, but let your partner’s preferences be your guide. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
“The essence of foreplay is slowness,” states the Discourse on the Highest Tao Under Heaven. “If one proceeds slowly and patiently, the woman will be exceedingly joyful. She will adore you. One who has mastered this Tao deserves to be called a heavenly gentleman.” Because anticipation and growing intensity are important in bringing your partner’s desire to a boil, you should begin with passionate kissing. Begin at her extremities rather than her genitals. Caress, massage, and kiss her hands and wrists as well as her feet and ankles. Move up her arms and legs to her abdomen. Stimulating points along the meridians of her body (energy channels) will help increase her sexual excitement: there are many points along or near her spine (the Back Channel), such as the small of her back, her neck, and her ears. The underside of the arms and the inside of the thighs are also very sensitive on most women. By caress, we mean that your touch should generally be featherweight, although it can be heavier when you are stimulating larger muscles such as her buttocks. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
As we mentioned earlier, when you approach her breasts, spiral around them in ever narrower circles until you slowly reach her nipples. Most men go for the nipples too soon. (Old breast-feeding instincts, perhaps.) Circling them slowly will draw her sexual energy to her nipples. Also, remember to rub your thumbs and forefingers together to generate more chi Finally, touch her nipples lightly, and try rolling them between your thumbs and index fingers. (You can touch both breasts or just focus on one at a time.) Some women enjoy harder squeezing and fondling, but let your partner’s responses guide you. As we already mentioned, your tongue is highly charged with chi, and using it to lick, spiral around, and suck on her nipple is often an excellent way to arouse her. If her nipples become engorged and erect, you are doing something right. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
In approaching your partner’s genitals, it is best to stimulate her inner thighs, mons, and vaginal lips before approaching the clitoris. Imagine that you are moving through concentric circles of increasing pleasure and intensity. When you finally approach her clitoris, her sexual energy and excitement will be enormous and you will find out how to plasure a woman.
Each woman likes to have her clitoris touched differently, and you need to become the expert in her particular pleasure. Even more important than where to touch is how to touch. Using your finger, stroke or spiral evenly – not too fast, not too slow. Avoid big movements: the clitoris’s sensitivity is far more concentrated than that of the penis, and you are better off with more focused, subtler movements than with the kind of vigorous stimulation that most men enjoy. Keep on reading to find out how to pleasure a woman.
As for where to touch, you are best off starting with the less sensitive parts of this very sensitive sex organ. Try stroking the base and sides of the clitoris. Then try stroking the hood and rolling the clitoris between your thumb and index finger – gently! Remember to touch the hood first, before touching the extremely sensitive glans. Experiment with different strokes and varying degrees of pressure. If your partner likes it, she will push her genitals slightly toward you for more stimulation. Moans, sighs, pants, jerking muscles, curling toes, and sweat, as well as smiles and other facial expressions, are all good signs. If your touch is too heavy or uncomfortable, she will pull her pelvis slightly away. Lighten up or try another stroke. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
TONGUE KUNG FU
Although effective, fingers are not ideal, because they are not nearly as sensitive as your partner’s clitoris. The hardness of the bones in your fingers and the sharpness of your nails can be painful. (Always make sure your nails are short and smooth.) For this reason, your tongue is much better suited to the task. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
There have been many jokes about oral sex and its attendant smells and tastes. There are men who grimace at the thought and men who smile with fond memories. One multi-orgasmic man described his conversion to an oral-sex fan: “In the past, I definitely didn’t like to use my tongue because it felt like I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I was kind of selfish, really – I was a getter. And now my partner will be having these incredible orgasms because of what I am doing with my tongue, and it feels great to watch. I even start tingling in my body. It’s true what the Tao says about when you are in tune. I get by giving. This is something a lot of guys miss. I know I did for a long time.” Whatever your personal feelings are about oral sex, you should know that it is probably the fastest way to get a woman’s vaginal juices flowing inpreparation for lovemaking. As we discussed earlier, it is also the easiest, and for some women the only, way in which they have an orgasm. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
If you are not a cunnilingus fan, you do not have to dive in headfirst. If you use your tongue on your partner’s clitoris, your nose and face will be nearest her mons and lower abdomen. If it is the odor that you object to, you and she can try bathing together or using scented oils. (We should mention that many men are turned on by, or overtime come to be turned on by, the smell of their partner’s vagina.) Best, of course, is not to focus initially or exclusively on her clitoris: use your tongue to touch her inner lips, the sensitive spot at the base of her vagina, and her perineum as well. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
It is also important not to get overly fixated on her genitals to the exclusion of the rest of her body. Some women feel disconnected during oral sex, and this feeling can be lessened by using your hands to continue caressing her legs, belly, breasts, hands, and face. Many women find that having their nipples stimulated during oral sex can heighten their pleasure immensely. Other women find that this distracts them from the intensity of clitoral stimulation. As for clitoral techniques, you probably will want to try a combination of brushing with your lips, flicking with your tongue, and sucking with your mouth. Alternating between using your tongue and gently sucking her clitoris into your mouth can be extremely pleasurable. Again, be careful of too much pressure. Light, consistent, and rhythmic pressure is generally best. I hope you are getting the idea – how to pleasure a woman!
Many men mistakenly think that oral sex involves inserting their tongue into their partner’s vagina. This is not generally the case, since the tongue is usually too short and too soft to stimulate a woman's vagina successfully, although Taoists do recommend a technique for stimulating the G spot by hooking your tongue and pulling back. It's worth a try – especially if you have a strong tongue! Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
(You actually can strengthen your tongue by sticking it out and then pulling it in like a snake as fast as you can for a minute or two. Practice as often as you can.)
Generally, your fingers are more effective than your tongue for stimulating the inside of your partner’s vagina. You can use one finger (or, if she’s very aroused, two fingers) to enter her. Circle around the wall of her vagina to find where she is most sensitive. Don’t forget to try the G spot about an inch or two behind her clitoris. You may also wish to thrust your fingers in and out (slowly at first), simulating the action of your penis. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
At this point, your partner’s desire is probably close to boiling and she is eager for you to enter her. But do not enter her quite yet. Hold your penis in your hand as if you were about to guide it into her vagina. But before entering, rub the head of your penis against her clitoris. This will help bring her passion to a rapid boil. Then enter her gradually, first about an inch, then two, and then pull back a little so that your penis is just inside the entrance to her vagina. This slow, lingering approach will help you control your own desire and will allow you to begin a thrusting pattern, which will bring both of you to the peak of pleasure many times. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
If she is multi-orgasmic, you may want to help bring her to orgasm before you enter her, or you may want to wait until you have entered her. If she has already orgasmed at least once, she may be more patient with your need to stop momentarily during lovemaking as you approach the point of no return. Also, when you are making love her orgasms actually will help you control your ejaculation. As the Taoists understand it, water (vaginal fluid)cools down fire. As you gain greater mastery over your urge to ejaculate, this will be less of a concern because you will be able to use your breath and your mind more effectively to control this urge and will need to interrupt the rhythm of lovemaking less often. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
CHARGING HER EROTIC CIRCUITS
While pleasuring your partner, you should try to avoid sexual Scripts or patterns of lovemaking that can become routine. The sequence for pleasuring your partner described in the previous section is not the only one. It generally follows the pattern of arousal for most women, but not necessarily all women and certainly not at all times. During a "quickie,” for example, you might want to jump right to oral sex. Mix and match. See what your partner wants and what the mood ofthe moment is. Although techniques can help you satisfy your partner, it is worth bearing in mind Herant Katchadourian’s advice in his Fundamentals of Human Sexuality: “A simplistic search for bodily levers and push-buttons, leads to mechanical sex since the energy that charges the erotic circuits is emotion.” Knowledge of your partner’s body is essential, but there is no substitute for sincere affection. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
Most porn movies portray men thrusting in and out, sawing away until they ejaculate. It is no surprise that this is therefore what most men think they should do. In fact, this thrusting rhythm is a recipe for fast ejaculation and little satisfaction for either the man or the woman. The Taoists recognized that proper thrusting was essential for coital pleasure, ejaculatory control, and sexual health. Yet even more important than any particular technique is making sure your partner is already highly aroused. Thrusting in too soon (before she is highly lubricated) should be avoided at all costs. Even if she is eager for you to enter her, a slow hand and pelvis will raise her anticipation and help you control your ejaculation. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
FINDING YOUR RHYTHM
The Taoists developed numerous different thrusting patterns, most of which involved varying between shallow thrusts and deep thrusts (see figure 20). All of these patterns encouraged the man to thrust shallowly a number of times before thrusting deeply, the most common involving nine shallow and one deep. (As you learn to control your ejaculation, you can lessen the ratio to six or even three shallow to one deep.) Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
Alternating between shallow and deep thrusts will not only help you last longer; it will also thrill your partner. The deep thrust pushes all of the air out of her vagina, creating a vacuum, which the shallow thrusts intensify. You want to avoid withdrawing completely, which breaks the seal of the vacuum; instead, pull back so that you are about an inch or so inside her. One multi-orgasmic man described his experience: “When I read about this Taoist thrusting technique I really didn’t believe it would work, but women just go crazy: they love the shallow and deep. They orgasm a lot quicker and can have two or three before I get to one. In the past, I couldn’t last long enough to get a woman to that point.” Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
More important than any particular number of shallow and deep thrusts is practicing a basic rhythm that you can maintain and that both you and your partner can enjoy for prolonged periods of time. Don't allow your thrusting to become mechanical by getting lost in counting off numbers. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
When most men thrust deeply, they pull back all the way, which rubs the head of their penis – their most sensitive spot – against the full length of their partner’s vagina. If you have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, this in-out deep thrust is especially valuable (see the Soft Entry exercise). However, as you can imagine, this thrust is also highly arousing and ordinarily leads to quick ejaculation.
For this reason, the Taoist masters developed the up-down deep thrust. This thrust uses the base of your penis, which is your least sensitive spot, to stimulate your partner’s clitoris, which is her most sensitive spot (see figure 21). The benefits for postponing ejaculation are obvious. Instead of pulling back, you can stay deep inside your partner and thrust up and down repeatedly. This is especially important when she is in the midst of orgasming and wants you deep inside her but you are close to the edge. Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
orgasmic during intercourse than others. You will be able to stimulate some women clitorally just by using the up-down deep thrust, while others will need the help of your fingers. Either way, this thrust will help you immeasurably during the most intense throes of lovemaking.
Check out here how to pleasure a woman!
TO BE CONTINUED ….
Control Your Sexual Energy
In the next section you are going to learn the Cool Draw, the Taoist technique for drawing your sexual energy out of your testicles and circulating it through the body before you get hot and bothered. In the following section, you will learn the Big Draw, which you can do once you are already hot and bothered. However, it is much easier for you to work with your sexual energy when it is still "cool," and we therefore strongly encourage you to learn this exercise before attempting the Big Draw. If you learn to do the Cool Draw successfully, you will rarely need to use the Big Draw. The earlier you are able to draw the sexual energy away from your genitals, the easier it will be for you to multiply and experience whole-body orgasms and, eventually, use your sexual energy for health and healing.
When you're being sexual with yourself or a partner, the Cool Draw will allow you to decrease the urge to ejaculate. When you are feeling sexual but are not interested in being sexual or not able to be, the Cool Draw will allow you to relieve the sexual "pressure" of arousal and transform this energy into greater creativity and vitality. Michael Winn explains: "I have taught this technique to thousands of Western men and found that it is the quickest and safest way for men to relieve feelings of sexual frustration and horniness as well as to increase the flow of creative energy to their heart and brain. This technique lets a man cultivate his sexual energy anytime and anyplace, standing in line at the bank, sitting in his office, or even when he wakes up in the middle of the night from a sexual dream with an erection."
The Cool Draw
The Cool Draw is also called tes icle breathing, because the technique causes your testicles to rise and fall as if they were breathing. In actual fact, you are using your mind and muscles to raise and lower your testicles and to draw sexual energy out of your genitals and up to your brain. For Taoists, non-ejaculatory orgasm allows men not only to avoid the loss of semen (and the hormones, proteins, minerals, vitamins, and amino acids it contains), but also to avoid losing the bioelectric energy (the ching chi) generated by the sperm. Your testicles are the factories of your sexual hormones and sexual energy, and it is from here that you draw the energy up your spine to your brain (see figure 10). This will allow you to decrease the sexual energy in your genitals and eventually to draw a refreshing, revitalizing wave of energy up your spine, stimulating all the nerves of the body along the way. You will be able to feel this orgasmic wave of pleasure at any time without even having to be sexually aroused. That could certainly make your day, maybe even your week, your month, or your life!
THE COOL DRAW
1. Touch or cup your testicles with one hand to warm them up until you feel a slight tingling or the first stirring of your sexual energy. (If you are in a public place, you can simply think a sexual thought or fantasy.)
2. Inhale and gently pull up on the muscles around the testicles, the perineum, and the anus. As you inhale and pull your muscles up, imagine the you are sipping this sexual energy and drawing it from your testicles to your perineum and on to your anus and tailbone.
3. Exhale and relax your muscles, but keep your attention on your rising sexual energy.
4. Continue to inhale and pull up and then exhale and relax several more times until you can feel a warm or tingling sensation at your perineum. Once your are able to move this sexual energy, you can simply begin using the spine like a straw, sipping the energy from your testicles and perineum right up the entire length of your spine to the base of your skull. (Gently tucking your chin in will help the energy move from your spine into your head.) Do this for five to ten minutes or until you become aware of a light or tingling feeling in your head. With
your mind, try to circle the energy in your head.
5. Finally, touch your tongue to the roof of you mouth half and inch behind your front teeth where the palate curves down (see figure 11). Your tongue works like a light switch that connects your font and back channels, allowing the energy to flow down the front of your body to your navel.
Figure 11 – TOUCHING YOUR TONGUE TO YOUR PALETE
DRAWING YOUR ENERGY UP
Learning to circulate this energy may take some time, so don't get discouraged, especially if you have not had much experience with meditation or other internal arts. You also may find that you feel the energy at certain points along your spine but not at others. As long as you feel the energy reach your brain, you will know that you have successfully performed the exercise.
You may be surprised to find that you are able to move this energy almost immediately. As we mentioned earlier, much will depend on your sexual strength and sensitivity. One multi-orgasmic man explained his experience: "Ever since I was a teenager I have had really intense sexual energy, which has led to a lot of sexual frustration. I thought you had to be some yogi living in a cave for thirty years before you could learn to control your sexual energy. After I learned this simple exercise, I was astounded to discover that within ten minutes I was experiencing tingling in my spine and head. Within a couple of months I was able to control my continual horniness and to eliminate the feelings of frustration I had felt for so many years."
FINDING THE WAY
If your back or pelvis is tight, it will be difficult for you to draw sexual energy up through your spine. It is important for you to loosen up your pelvic area, spinal column, and neck. Imagine that you are sitting on a galloping horse, and rock your pelvis back and forth, letting your chin bob up and down. Your spinal cord should rock like a wave.
DRAWING YOUR ENERGY DOWN
In addition to drawing sexual energy from the genitals up to the brain along the Back Channel, it is also essential for you to bring the energy down along the Front Channel to your belly, where it can be safely stored. This is much more difficult for men than drawing the energy up. Michael Winn explains: "A lot of men find it is easy to bring energy up their spine. There is a connection between the balls and the brain. Some even discover this pathway naturally, but most men have a harder time bringing the energy down the front where their organs are and where they unconsciously hold a lot of their emotional energy. Women who do the practice usually have an easier time drawing the energy down the front and may have more difficulty drawing it up the spine. In a few cases I have encountered men who find it easier to draw the sexual energy up the Front Channel, in which case I recommend that they simply circulate in the reverse direction."
Although each step helps move the energy up, contrac ing your anus is the most important part o the p actice because it is this squeezing action that l e ally pumps the energy up your spine. Eventually, you will be able to rely on your mind and a quick squeeze of your anus alone to bring the energy to your head.
At first you will be working on drawing the energy up to your head, which will help you experience a "brain" or wholebody orgasm and feel energized. However, it is equally important that you draw the energy down to your navel to keep yourself balanced and to allow your body to store the energy for later use (see figure 12). The Taoists knew the truth of the expression "What goes up must come down."
Westerners often joke about yogis who sit and contemplate their navels. Most people think the navel is simply the vestigial scar of the umbilical cord, but the navel is in fact our physical and energetic center. The navel was our first connection with the outside world; all oxygen, blood, and nutrients flowed into our fetal body through this abdominal gateway. There is an energetic reservoir at your navel where you can safely store the energy you have generated through your practice. The body can then "digest" this energy as it is needed. Also, if you are not able to raise the sexual energy all the way to the head first, you can raise it up along your spine to your abdomen and channel it directly into this reservoir at your navel. With a little practice you should be able to draw the energy all the way up very soon.
FINDING THE WAY
What You Might Experience
I DON'T FEEL MY SEXUAL ENERGY
Unaroused sexual energy is easy to draw up and easy for your body to digest because it is not too hot. However, if you cannot feel enough sexual energy by simply touching your testicles or thinking a sexual thought, you can stimulate your genitals more directly.
I CAN'T RAISE THE ENERGY UP MY SPINE
If you are having problems drawing the energy up your spine, you can help the energy rise by using your spine's natural pumps. Your cerebrospinal fluid bathes the brain and spine. Pumps at your sacrum (the back of your pelvis) and the base of your skull help this fluid circulate and can also help you draw energy up your spine (see figure 13). These pumps, which are utilized by osteopathic physicians today, were well known to the ancient Taoists several thousand years ago. You can do the following exercise standing or sitting.
1. Activate your sacral pump by squeezing your anus up toward the tailbone and rocking your pelvis back and forth.
2. Activate your cranial pump (at the base of your skull) by drawing your chin in and up and then back out in a soft gentle circle. Keep the jaw and neck muscles relaxed.
3. After activating the sacral and cranial pumps, rest and begin drawing the energy up your spine into your brain. Looking up with your eyes toward the top of your head will also help direct the energy up to the crown of your head. Repeatedly activate these pumps until you feel the energy move up.
I CAN'T BRING THE ENERGY DOWN
As we mentioned earlier, many men and some women have difficulty bringing the energy down. With your hands you can stroke the Front Channel along the midline of your body from your forehead down your throat and chest and to your belly. You can also try "swallowing" the energy using your saliva. (If this doesn't work, you may have a blockage in your Front Channel. See "Finding the Way: Opening Blocks in Your Front Channel.")
1. Swirl your tongue around your mouth, which will activate your salivary glands.
2. Once you have a large pool of saliva, draw the sexual energy now in your brain into the saliva by focusing on the saliva. (Remember, the energy follows your mind.)
3. Swallow this pool of saliva in one gulp and follow it with your mind as it flows down your esophagus and into your stomach. Repeat this swallowing and imagine the energy collecting in a pool at your stomach.
4. Finally, with both hands stroke the front of your body from your throat straight down to your belly.
Most people today carry around a great deal of physical and emotional tension. As you are trying to circulate energy, you may notice tightness or congestion in your back or chest. Men in particular are prone to holding in their emotions, which often can lead to energetic blockages in the Front Channel, along which emotions are stored, that is, in your heart, solar plexus, stomach, and intestines. It is essential that you open these blockages before attempting the Big Draw. (If you are still having a problem bringing the energy down, even after opening any blocks in your Front Channel, try the powerful Venting exercise described in the next section.)
Help the energy rise up your spine by rocking your sacrum and drawing your chin in and up.
FINDING THE WAY
Opening Blocks in Your Front Channel
If you are having difficulty drawing the energy down and suspect you might have a blockage, try the following:
1. Put your left hand on your belly and put your right hand at the base of your throat just above your heart center.
2. Imagine as you inhale that you are drawing energy up the Front Channel to your right hand and from there up your throat to the top of your tongue.
3. As you exhale, imagine your are reversing the flow so it descends back down past your heart to your belly. This will help open any energy blocks in your Front Channel.
The Big Draw
Now that you have learned to circulate your sexual energy when it is not too aroused, you need to learn how to circulate and control this energy when it is aroused. Here the energy will be hotter, more explosive, and harder to keep from shooting out your penis. However, before attempting the Big Draw, you must make sure you are able to circulate your energy as described in the last exercise. Stopping aroused sexual energy is like trying to stop a team of horses who are speeding toward a cliff. Before you attempt this with the Big Draw, your must make sure you know how to ride, which is what the Cool Draw exercise teaches you.
Ejaculation is simply an involuntary muscle spasm, which you are learning to make voluntary so that you can choose if and when you want to ejaculate. Michael Winn explains how the Big Draw works: "Ejaculation can happen only if there is enough energy in the local nerves and enough blood in the local muscles to trigger the muscle spasm. There's nothing mystical about the Big Draw technique for stopping the ejaculatory spasm. You squeeze the PC muscles around the sperm ducts and then progressively pump the big muscles in the buttocks (and, if necessary, the foot, fist, and jaw muscles). These big muscles draw the blood away from the genitals. At the same time, you draw the energy away from
the genital nerves by shifting your mental focus into a wave of nerve sensations traveling up your spine into your brain. The combination of these actions simply removes the blood and energy the genital muscles need in order to involuntarily spasm. It is as simple as that. All the squeezing and clenching is a bit crude, but it works. If any man practices properly and regularly, eventually he'll get it. I have hundreds of students who have proved this."
When you begin learning the Big Draw, you will need to use the various techniques described in this section. Eventually, when doing the Big Draw you will be able to use just your mind and maybe a quick squeeze of your PC muscle. According to one multi-orgasmic man, "In the beginning, I had to contract my muscles, especially the perineum and the anus, while concentrating on drawing the energy up with my mind. How the energy moves up almost by itself."
FINDING THE WAY
The Big Draw is a very powerful practice, and you need to make sure you follow a few safety tips.
NEVER LEAVE SEXUAL ENERGY IN THE BRAIN FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME
Remember to touch your tongue to your palate to allow this energy to come down through the Front Channel to the navel, where it can be safely stored. In the past, many teachers of Eastern sexuality taught students how to draw energy up to their brain without teaching them how to bring it back down again. This resulted in what has been call the Kundalini syndrome. The Taoists knew the importance of completing the circle. Anytime you feel like you have too much energy, inhale to your abdomen, and as your exhale, bring the energy all the way down to your toes and the soles of your feet (see figure 14).
MAKE SURE YOU ARE FEELING BALANCED
Remember that the sexual energy you will be circulating through your body will amplify any emotions you are feeling. Michael Winn explains: "The most important thing is to first try to clear out your emotional extremes and avoid practicing when your are feeling extreme anger or extreme anything." You should also avoid practicing if you are too tired. If you have a medical condition, you should speak with a Healing Tao instructor before you begin this practice.
TAKE IT EASY
Although it may not seem very important, your attitude toward the practice is in fact essential. As Healing Tao instructor Walter Beckley explains, "A lot of men to into the practice gung ho, which is good, but they need to be careful not to jam the energy up their spine or they can hurt themselves. Your attitude needs to be playful and joyful. You need to be soft with your body. It is better for you to lose the energy, to ejaculate, than to try to force the energy up your spine."
Practice on an empty, but not hungry, stomach whenever possible. Always wait at least one hour after eating. The body needs energy to digest the food you have just eaten, which means there will be less energy for you to circulate. Also, wear loose clothes. Although there should be a gentle flow of clean air in the room, avoid drafts or wind. And remember to always breathe through your nose.
In the beginning, do not lie on your back during these exercises, since the rising energy may stick in your chest and cause pain. At first, sit, stand, or lie on your side. If you lie on your side, always do so on your right side. (Lying on the left side puts too much strain on your heart.) Once you master these exercises, you can do them in any position. Also, never place any objects (such as a pillow) under you while lying on your right side, since this will bend the channel of energy and can cause back pain.
If you have an active herpes sore, do not do this practice until you have healed. If you have herpes but in is in remission (that is, if you have no visible sore), you can do this practice.
Learning How to Control Ejaculation
Now that you have started learning how to control your breath and your sex muscles, you are ready to learn some specific techniques for how to control ejaculation when you are highly aroused. The more you practice the exercises you've learned so far, the easier it will be to practice the ones given later and stop yourself from going pas the "point of no return."
First, and most important, you need to stay aware of your arousal rate and stop a few strokes (or thrusts, if you're with your partner) before you think you will ejaculate. Many sexologists call this the s op/start technique, but it is just common sense. Better to stop too soon than too late. In the beginning, you will probably need to stop stimulating yourself for ten or twenty seconds to allow the urge to ejaculate to subside.
The deep breathing we described earlier is extremely important in controlling your arousal rate and in delaying ejaculation when you are highly aroused. One technique that has proved especially effective is to breathe in deeply and hold your breath for several moments until the urge to ejaculate subsides. Some multi-orgasmic men, however, breathe rapidly to delay ejaculation. (This quick, shallow breathing is call the breath of fire in the yoga tradition.) Deep, slow breathing helps control your sexual energy, whereas shallow, rapid breathing helps disperse the energy. You can experiment and see what works for you.
CONTRACTING THE PC MUSCLE
As already mentioned, the PC muscle surrounds the prostate, through which your semen must pass during the expulsion phase of orgasm. By learning to squeeze your prostate during contractile-phase orgasm (when it is contracting involuntarily), you can help yourself avoid moving from contraction to expulsion. (Between contraction and expulsion lies the infamous "point of no return.") One multi-orgasmic man described his experience: "I hold back the ejaculation simply by contracting the PC muscle at precisely the right time. It took quite some time to master this process, but the results are definitely worth the effort."
SQUEEZING THE PENIS
Many sexologists recommend squeezing the penis, a technique that was originally developed for men who ejaculate "prematurely."
It is simple. Just place the first two fingers of either hand on the underside of your penis, place your thumb on the top, and squeeze (see figure 8a). Some men also find that gripping their penis like the handlebar of a bicycle and pressing down on the tip or underside with their thumb helps them reduce their arousal (see figure 8b). Although these techniques can be effective in solo practice, they are awkward when having intercourse because your must withdraw. To prepare for this situation, you can try using your mind to help squeeze the tip of your penis. Eventually, you will be able to squeeze the tip of your penis with just your mind and will avoid the clumsiness of having to use your hands. Another good technique is squeezing at the base of your penis (remembering to also squeeze with your mind). This will help you control your arousal and will also expand and strengthen your erections (see figure 8c).
PRESSING THE MILLION-DOLLAR POINT
One of the oldest Taoist techniques is pressing the Million-Dollar Point while contracting your PC muscle. This helps delay ejaculation both by focusing your attention and by interrupting the ejaculatory reflex. It is simple and effective. First locate your Million-Dollar Point, which is just in front of your anus. There should be an indentation when you push at the correct spot. You will need to push your finger in up to your first joint. One multi-orgasmic man described his experience: "Pressing on the Million-Dollar Point for a while decreases my erection slightly and the danger of ejaculating greatly." You will also be able to use this technique during intercourse without withdrawing.
Since your testicles have to pull up close to the body in order to propel the semen out of the testes, pulling them away from your body can delay ejaculation. Circle the top of your sac with your thumb and forefinger (see figure 9). Pull down firmly.
DRAWING AWAY SEXUAL ENERGY
More than any mechanical technique, the secret to stopping yourself from ejaculating is learning to pump your sexual energy away from your genitals and up through your spine to the rest of your body. If the sexual energy continues to build up in your groin, it will eventually be too great to control and will shoot out in the most direct way it can, through your penis. However, if you draw this energy away, it will be much easier to stop yourself from ejaculating. This is also the secret to learning how be have whole-body orgasms. In the next section we will give step-by-step instructions to show you how to circulate your sexual energy through your body. In the meantime, simply imagine drawing your sexual THE MULTI-ORGASMIC MAN energy out of your penis, past your perineum, and up your spine. Contracting your perineum will help pump the energy up and will prepare you for the Big Draw exercise we describe later.
SEPARATING ORGASM FROM EJACULATION
1. Start by lubricating your penis, as you did in the Self-Pleasuring exercise.
2. Before focusing on your genitals, remember to touch and massage the rest of your body, especially your belly, thighs, and nipples.
3. Self-pleasure however you like, remembering to stimulate your entire penis, your scrotum, and your perineum.
4. Pay close attention to your arousal rate. Once again, try to notice your increasing levels of arousal; notice the tingling at the root of your penis, notice the stages of erection, notice your breathing change and your heartbeat rise.
5. As you feel yourself getting close to the point of no return, stop, breathe, and lightly contract your PC muscle around your prostate. In addition, you also can delay your ejaculation by pressing on the Million-Dollar Point, by using the scrotal tug, by pressing on the tip of your penis. You can experiment and see which of these techniques works best for you. Most important of all, however, is paying close attention to your arousal and stopping in time, at least a few strokes before the point of no return.
6. If you feel that your sexual energy is getting too wild and difficult to control, try to draw this energy up your spine with your mine, and squeeze and release your PC muscle several times. If you are still feeling too hot and out of control, stop for ten or twenty seconds and focus on deep breathing.
7. Try to notice the contraction of your PC muscle and anus that occurs at contractile-phase orgasm.
8. After you have peaked several times without ejaculating, stop. You will feel peaceful and/or energized afterward. Try to notice your sexual energy circulating in your body, which you will feel as a tingling, itching, or prickling.
In exercise 6, you will use these techniques to help cool you down as you start to get highly aroused. Again, you will try to experience the pleasurable involuntary pumping of the prostate and anus (contractile-phase orgasms) without ejaculating. One multi-orgasmic man described how he is able to orgasm without ejaculating: "I do a number or things.  Variation seems to help, not doing the same over and over again, varying the depth of the thrust when I am making love, or suing different strokes when it’s just me and my hand.  Slowing down when I feel close to the edge.  Deepbreathing exercises. And  moving the accumulated chi up my spine and through the Microcosmic Orbit." Whatever techniques you use to heat yourself up and cool yourself down, he mos important parts of the practice are breathing, squeezing your PC muscle, and learning to relax into a non-ejaculatory orgasm. How to control ejaculation?
FINDING THE WAY
Pelvic Pressure Pressure in your pelvic area is a natural result of the increased blood and chi that have been pumped to the area and your increased sexual energy. If the pressure feels uncomfortable, go on and ejaculate or use deep breathing, PC Pull-Ups, and perineum massage (which we describe later in the section called "The Finger Lock") to relieve the tension. As you learn to feel your prostate pulsate and draw your sexual energy up, you will be far less likely to experience pressure in your genitals (often called blue balls). One multi-orgasmic man described his experience: "When I stop, my penis will often stay hard for a couple more minutes, but I am not tense or uncomfortable. I don't get blue balls, because I do deep breathing and draw the energy up. I just feel relaxed."
Female Orgasm Black Book
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It is time to become the multi orgasmic man
This ability requires developing both your sexual strength and your sexual sensitivity. Most men who practice these exercises will begin to experience multiple orgasms within a week or two and will master the technique within three to six months.
Some with strong sexual energy and sexual sensitivity may experience them the first time they try, while others with weaker energy or less sensitivity may take longer than six months to become the multi orgasmic man. It also depends on your dedication to the practice. We give you these time frames as an estimate, but the most important thing is not to get discouraged. If you persevere, you will get it.
Strange as it may seem, learning to control your ejaculation and to become multiply orgasmic begins with strengthening and deepening your breathing. As is true in all martial arts and meditative practices your breath is the gate through which you can gain control of your body. Breathing is both involuntary and voluntary. In other words, we breathe regularly without thinking about it, but we can also choose to change the rhythm or depth of our breathing. This use of the mind to cultivate the body is the very basis of Sexual Kung Fu.
Your breathing is also related to your heart rate. If you are breathing quickly and shallow, as after running, your heart rate increases. If you are breathing slowly and deeply, your heart rate decreases. Increased heart rate is part of orgasm and breathing quickly is one sign of orgasm's approach. So the first step in controlling your arousal rate and therefore your ejaculation, is deep and slow breathing.
Most of us breathe very shallowly, generally into our chest and shoulders, which allows only a small amount of oxygen to be absorbed by our lungs. Belly breathing, breathing deeply into the bottom of our lungs is the way a newborn child breathes. If you watch a sleeping newborn, you will see the child's entire belly rise and fall with each breath. Belly breathing allows us to replace stagnant air at the bottom of our lungs with fresh, oxygen-filled air. This is the healthiest way to breathe, but we lose this natural ability as stress and anxiety cause us to cut our breathing short. This anxious breathing is confined to our upper chest. When we are happy and laughing, we are able once again to breathe into our belly. In this exercise, you will learn to belly breathe as you did when you were young.
FINDING THE WAY
Inhale Through Your Nose
When practicing any of these exercises always inhale through you nose, which filters and warms the air. When you inhale through your mouth, you breathe unfiltered unwarmed air, which is harder for your body to assimilate.
1. Sit on a chair with your back straight and your feet touching the floor about shoulder width apart.
2. Place your hands over your navel and relax your shoulders.
3. Inhale through your nose and feel your lower abdomen expand at the navel area (below and around it) so that it bulges outward. Your diaphragm will also descend (see figure 5).
4. Keeping your chest relaxed, exhale with some force to pull the lower abdomen back in, as if you were pulling your navel back toward your spine. Also feel your penis and testicles pull up.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 eighteen to thirty-six times.
A few minutes of belly breathing each day will teach your body to breathe deeply on its own, even when you are asleep. When you are in the heat of passion, this ability to control your breathing will be essential to stopping yourself from ejaculating and to expanding the feeling of orgasm throughout your whole body.
Once you learn not to ejaculate, it is very important to do this deep-breathing exercise or eventually just to breathe deeply on your own. It will help circulate your sexual energy through your body and absorb it into your organs. Belly breathing also massages the organs and prostate and can relieve the full feeling many men experience when they first stop ejaculating.
Although it is not as important to exhale through your nose as it is to inhale, it is still preferable. Some people, however, find it easier to exhale through their mouth when breathing deeply. See what works best for you.
FINDING THE WAY
If you are having a hard time with belly breathing, as many Westerners do, you can practice belly laughing instead. A belly laugh is the kind of laugh that makes your whole abdomen shake. It is not the fake salesman's laugh; it is the genuine laugh you have with your close friends. It is the kind of laugh that can make your stomach ache, since most of us do not use these muscles very often.
To belly laugh, sit in a chair with your back straight and your feet on the floor about shoulder width apart. Place your hands over your belly and start to laugh (from your belly). Feel your stomach vibrate. This belly laughing will help relax your diaphragm and let you breathe from your belly. It also will help you generate a lot of energy, which you will later learn to circulate through your body for better orgasms and better health.
1. Slowly inhale (expanding your belly) and exhale (flattening your belly). Count each complete inhalation and exhalation as one breath.
2. Continue breathing from the belly and counting from one to one hundred, thinking only about your breathing.
3. If you notice that your mind has strayed, start again.
4. Practice this exercise twice a day until you can count to one hundred with ease.
Increasing Your Concentration
This exercise builds on the belly breathing you just learned and will help you improve your concentration. In this exercise you count one hundred breaths without letting your mind wander. (A complete inhalation and exhalation is one breath.) This is very simple, but not easy. Most people have difficulty counting to ten, let alone one hundred, without letting their mind wander. The multi orgasmic man explained his practice: "I go the gym and I'll sit in the sauna and count my breath in and out as one, in and out as two, all the way to one hundred. Sometimes I'll be breathing and counting and suddenly around fifty or sixty I realize I'm thinking about stocks or something and I can't remember what number I'm at, so I go back to one and I just start counting again until I get to one hundred."
Strengthening Your Sex Muscles
Now it is time to develop your sexual strength. The pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle is the muscular sling that stretches from the pubic bone in the front to the tailbone in the back (see figure 6). Most men feel their PC muscle at their perineum, just behind their testicles and in front of their anus. This is the muscle you use to stop yourself from urinating when you can't find a toilet. The PC muscle is also responsible for the rhythmic contractions in your pelvis and anus during orgasm. In The G Spot, Ladas, Whipple, and Perry describe the importance of the PC muscle: "If men increase the strength of their pubococcygeus muscle, they too can learn to become multiply orgasmic and separate between orgasm and ejaculation." Your orgasm builds from your prostate, so learning how to squeeze on the prostate with your pelvic muscles is essential. In addition to having more and better orgasms, you will by this squeezing prevent hardening and swelling of the prostate and help avoid or heal prostate problems.
The PC muscle (which surrounds the prostate gland) serves as a valve around the genitals that you will learn to open and close. You can feel this muscle working when you are trying to push out those last few drops urine. Women feel it most when they are trying to push out a baby. Women who have developed strong PC muscles can hold a man's penis in their vagina more tightly, increasing sensation for both partners.
The PC muscle is also what allows animals to way their tails. Strangely, the word penis literally means "tail" in Latin. So what you are going to do with these exercises is learn to "wag your tail" to strengthen your erections, intensify your orgasms, and separate your orgasms from ejaculation.
STOPPING THE STREAM
1. When you are about to urinate, stand on your toes and the balls of your feet. If necessary, you can use the wall for support.
2. Inhale deeply.
3. Exhale slowly, forcefully push out the urine while pulling up on your perineum and clenching your teeth.
4. Inhale and contract your PC muscle to stop the flow or urine midstream.
5. Exhale and start urinating again.
6. Repeat steps 4 and 5 three to six times or until you have finished urinating.
Stopping the Stream
The easist way to find your PC muscle is to stop the flow of urine by clamping down the muscles in your pelvis that next time you are going to the bathroom. Stopping yourself from peeing was one of the first acts of control you learned to have over your body. Using your ability to control your urine flow can now help you control your ejaculation, because the urinary duct, the ejaculatory duct, and the seminal-vesicle duct all pass through the prostate. (This is why when a man's prostate is enlarged, he has problems urinating and ejaculating.)
FINDING THE WAY
Emptying Your Bladder
Because the bladder and the prostate are so close, you should also urinate before self-pleasuring or lovemaking whenever your bladder feels full. A full bladder will make you feel like you need to ejaculate and can actually make it more difficult for you to stop yourself from ejaculating.
If you have a strong PC muscle, you should be able to stop the flow or urine midstream and then start it again. If this is difficult for you, your PC muscle is weak. Stopping the flow of urine may sting at first. This is perfectly normal and should stop within a few weeks, unless for some reason you have an infection, in which case you should wait until you have seen a doctor and cleared it up before continuing with the practice. If your muscle becomes sore, you just need practice. Pulling up on your perineum as you push out the urine will help you urinate with more force and will help strengthen your kidneys, prostate gland, and bladder in addition to your PC muscle.
Although standing on your toes and clenching your teeth will help intensify your practice, the most important part of the practice is simply to stop and start urinating as many times as you can. The multi orgasmic man described his "peeing practice" this way: "Whenever I go to the bathroom now, I tray to stop and go at least three times. And if I am in a fun mood and I am not in a rush, I will try to just stop, go, stop, go, sometimes maybe five or six or seven times."
The importance of the PC muscle was discovered in the West during the 1940s by Arnold Kegel, a gynecologist. He developed the famous Kegel (pronounced KAY-gul) exercises, which help many pregnant women control their bladders and which can ease childbirth. Women found that these exercises could also increase their sexual desire, intensify their orgasms, and help them become the multi orgasmic man. Strengthening this muscle is equally important for a man's pelvic health and sexual pleasure.
There are many different exercises for strengthening your PC muscle that have been taught in the West, most of them adaptations of Kegel's original technique. All of them teach you to contract and relax the muscle, although the number of repetitions and the amount of time suggested for holding the contractions vary. The following exercise is based on the Taoist awareness that the circular muscles of the body (including the muscles around the eyes, mouth, perineum, and anus) are connected. By squeezing the muscles around your eyes and mouth, you can increase the force of your PC Pull-Ups. It is easiest to begin practicing this exercise while sitting, but later on you can do this exercise while standing or lying down.
1. Inhale and concentrate on your prostate, perineum, and anus.
2. As you exhale, contract your PC muscle around your prostate and around your anus while at the same time contracting the muscles around your eyes and mouth.
3. Inhale and relax, releasing your PC, eye, and mouth muscles.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3, contracting your muscles as you exhale and releasing them as you inhale, nine to thirty-six times.
Although contracting your eyes and your lips will help you squeeze your PC muscle around your prostate and anus, themosimportant part othe practice issimply contracting and releasing your PC muscle as often as you can, which you can do practically anywhere – while driving, while watching TV, while sending a fax, while in a boring meeting. You can see how many contractions you can do during a red light, or you can hold a single contraction until the light turns green.
Try to do the exercise at least two or three times a day, although you can do it as many times as you like. Your muscles may get sore, just as they do after doing regular pull-ups. Don't push yourself too far; increase the number and frequency gradually. Consistency is more important the quantity. One way to help develop a daily routine is to connect your practice to daily events, like getting up in the morning, taking a shower, or lying in bed at night.
According to the authors of The G Spot, a man with a healthy PC muscle should be able to raise and lower a towel on his erect penis by contracting this muscle. (In the more advanced Taoist practice, you can even learn to use weights to strengthen your pelvic muscles.) For now, you may want to try raising and lowering a towel, but you probably should avoid having an audience. As the authors of The G Spot correctly point out, "'performance anxiety' is the archenemy of male erection."
Self-Pleasuring and Self-Cultivation
Next, you need to cultivate your sexual sensitivity. The easiest way to develop this awareness is through self-pleasuring. Unfortunately, most of us in the West did not grow up with an understanding of sex and sexual energy as natural and essential parts of our overall health. From the first time you started touching your "privates," your parents may have subtly, or not so subtly, told you to keep your hands out of your pants. Though this probably did not stop you from locking yourself in your bedroom or in the bathroom, you probably have some guilt and embarrassment about masturbating. You are not alone.
Christianity's ambivalence toward sex, especially sex that is not procreative, still influences Western society and sexual mores. For example, in 1994 Dr. Joycelyn Elders, the U.S. surgeon general, was forced to resign for stating publicly that masturbation "is a part of human sexuality." Therefore, it is worth mentioning that Christianity's prohibition of masturbation, which at one time was called onanism, is based on a misreading of the biblical story of Onan. Onan was punished for refusing to impregnate the wife of his dead brother, as was the custom at the time. His "sin" had nothing to do with masturbation.
PLAYING WITH YOURSELF
Taoist sexuality was developed as a branch of medicine, not morality. It therefore does not prohibit any form of human sexual activity but simply tries to teach people how to stay healthy while engaging in it. The Taoist masters saw masturbation, which they called solo cultivation or genital exercise, as an essential way of developing ejaculatory control and of learning to circulate sexual energy to revitalize the body. (Remember, solo cultivation, which we will refer to as both self-cultivation and self-pleasuring, does not include ejaculation.)
According to the Tao, play is one of the best ways to learn, and "playing with ourselves" is an excellent way to strengthen our genitals and our sexual energy. Many people worry about masturbating "too much," but the Taoists knew that there is no such thing, as long as one learns to control ejaculation. Too much ejaculation is the problem: it drains men of their strength, but this can happen with intercourse as well as self-pleasuring.
According to Kinsey and more recent surveys, almost all boys and most men masturbate. Prohibiting or discouraging a natural part of child sexuality turns boys into sexual thieves, forcing them to steal their pleasure. It is quite possible that most men ejaculate so quickly because they grew up trying to "get off" before they "got caught." Dr. Wardell Pomeroy, in his book Boys and Sex, explains that since almost all boys masturbate, they should learn to do so slowly and for extended periods of time so that they will be able to make love longer when they eventually become sexually active.
The Taoists would add that boys should learn to pleasure themselves without ejaculating. Young boys or teenagers who ejaculate too much can find that their energy and motivation for other activities decreases significantly. When one of the authors was growing up in Thailand, he sat next to a boy in school who had repeated the fourth grade four times. The boy masturbated each day in class four or five times and ejaculated into a bottle. Obviously, his was an extreme case, but according to Taoism, his failure in school was quite understandable. He was literally draining himself and his brain. The expression "screwing your brains out" is an accurate description of the stupor that occurs after repeated ejaculation.
Many men (and women) who are married or in relationships continue to pleasure themselves. In 1972, the American Medical Association advised physicians in a book entitled Human Sexuality, "Masturbation is practiced by men and women of all ages, often as a supplement to marital coitus, and women tend to masturbate more as they grow older." (Estimates suggest that about 70 percent of married men and married women pleasure themselves.) Self-pleasuring does not take the place of sex with a partner, but it can serve as a valuable complement. A recent national sex study sponsored by the University of Chicago found that people who are having sex regularly with a partner actually pleasure themselves more than people who are not.
Pleasuring yourself can help relieve built-up tension when you need a sexual release more than intimacy. It also can help when your partnet is tired, distracted, or does not have the same sexual appetite. If for whatever reason you feel that you just can't pleasure yourself, you can learn to become the multi orgasmic man with your partner instead. It may take a little longer, that's all. You can do the exercises you have already learned: Belly Breathing, Century Count, Stopping the Stream, and PC Pull-Ups.
Pleasureing ourselves is not something we are taught to do. Considering the outcry that occurred when Surgeon General Elders suggested that masturbation "perhaps should be taught," it is unlikely that it will be introduced into the curriculum anytime soon. Most of us learn how to masturbate in a hurry, by ourselves, or with orther, equally inexperienced boys. None of these circumstances are conducive to developing real sensitivity or much skill, so we offer a few pointers.
EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN PLEASURE
If you choose to use pornography or erotica to get aroused, try, once you are aroused, to shift your focus to the sensations in your body. Pornography, though it can increase your sexual energy, is also distracting and can make it difficult for you to focus on your own sensations as you approach orgasm. Many men learn to self-pleasure with pornography, and although this is not the place to discuss the pros and cons of the First Amendment or the sex industry, it is important to recognize that pornography succeeds when it takes you away from yourself. In this practice you need to go inward and experience your own pleasure, not someone else's idea of pleasure.
STIMULATE YOUR ENTIRE PENIS
It is important to try to stimulate your entire penis. Most men focus primarily on the head of their penis, which is the most erogenous part. However, according to Chinese medicine, the different parts of the penis correspond to different parts of the body (see figure 7). To avoid overstimulating one part of your body, try to rub your entire penis, the shaft as well as the head.
TOUCH YOUR BALLS
If touching your scrotum is not part of your regular routine, you may want to try it. The testicles can be especially sensitive to light touch, although many men also enjoy pulling on their scrotum. Rubbing your testicles actually increases production of testosterone, which adds to your potency both by raising your sperm count and by improving your overall health. In the next section we describe the Scrotal Tug, which can help delay ejaculation, but for now you should learn to touch your scrotum just for pleasure.
EXPLORE THE MILLION-DOLLAR POINT
As you masturbate, you should explore your perineum and the Million-Dollar Point (just in front of your anus). Pushing on this spot when you are about to ejaculate can help stop the ejaculatory reflex, but again, for now you are just exploring it for its pleasure. Pushing on this spot can squeeze more blood into your penis, which will make it throb pleasurably. Strong rhythmic pressure here also imitates the prostate contractions that accompany contractile-phase orgasm.
The Million-Dollar Point is best stimulated after you have an erection and are highly aroused, since once again the body gets aroused and swells from front to back. If you do not feel any sensation or it feels uncomfortable, stop until you are more fully aroused. If you don't warm to this point as a place of sexual stimulation, you can return to focusing on your penis and scrotum.
It is important to take as much time as you have to enjoy and learn to prolong ejaculation. "In our work with over a thousand cases," Hartman and Fithian report, "we've found that if a man can learn to go for fifteen to twenty minutes during masturbation or pleasuring, he can go as long as he wants to during intercourse. That period (fifteen to twenty minutes) seems to be critical. Once you've passed it, you have control. It's that simple."
This may seem like a long time, and it is, especially if you have been used to two- or three-minute masturbatory quickies. The multi orgasmic man explained the difference: "When I used to play with myself, I would jack off in three to five minutes just to release tension or because I was bored or whatever. Self-cultivation is different. I try to play with myself as long as I can and not come. After a while, I could play with myself for twenty minutes." Once you become the multi orgasmic man, you will be able to peak many times (without ejaculating) during these twenty or so minutes and you will be able to circulate rejuvenating, healing energy through your body. As another multi orgasmic man described self-cultivation, "It's somewhere between masturbation and meditation."
The last thing we want to do is make pleasuring yourself mechanical or turn it into a burden, and as with lovemaking there is no one right amount of time or number of orgasms. Both depend on the situation, your free time, and your level of arousal. If you start to feel bored, ask yourself what is causing the boredom. Are you falling back into old patterns? Is you touch becoming mechanical? Are you focusing too much on your genitals? Are you distracted?
Sensitizing our bodies and pampering ourselves is not something we generally consider very manly, but pleasure is just as manly as pain and a lot more fun. It will help your practice to begin by taking a hot bath (maybe with a little soothing sesame or olive oil) and even massaging your body. Lowering the lights and lighting a candle can help you focus. You can also sit in front of a mirror (with or without a candle) and notice what your body looks like. Try to find its sensuality.
Touch and feel your hands and arms, your feet (if you can reach them), calves, and thighs. Touch your chest and even your nipples. When you pleasure yourself, try massaging your thighs and stomach before you zero in on your genitals.
While most men do self pleasure (feeling guilty or not), few are really able to do it lovingly, to cultivate love?make love to themselves?while they are doing it. Cultivating self-love is essential to being a loving partner. Sexual energy simply magnifies the energy in your body, positive and negative. If you are feeling love, love will be increased by your sexual desire. If it's hate you're feeling, then hate will be increased. It is essential that you understand the way sexual energy amplifies your emotions for both your solo and your duo practice. Cultivating your sexual energy into loving-kindness will also help you not to ejaculate, it is much more difficult to maintain control when you are feeling anger or impatience.
In Taoist sexuality you cannot separate your genitals from your heart because the sexual energy circulates throughout your entire body. As the multi orgasmic man explained, "I used to actually want to keep sex and emotions separate, but as I practiced Taoist sexuality, my genitals became more connected to my heart and I discovered real, profound love for my partner and even other people."
The Taoists have a simple exercise for connecting your heart and your genitals (love and sex). Try it if you find that your are feeling irritable, frustrated, or distracted when you start being sexual with yourself or your partner; put your right hand on your groin and your left hand on your heart, connecting sexual energy with love. If you often feel anger, hatred, or other negative emotions, you must transform these feelings before cultivating your sexual energy. The Inner Smile and the Sex Healing Sounds techniques described in Mantak Chia's Taois Waysto Tansform Stress into Vitality can help, as can psychological counseling.
Self-love, which is quite different from egotism or narcissism, is the basis for any solo or duo practice. In The G Spot, the authors caution that they have not written a book about love. Our book is also not about love; it is primarily about sex. But the Taoists knew that if you are to stay healthy you can never really separate the two.
Now try a self-pleasuring exercise that will help you expand your sensual focus and extend pleasure to your entire body. In the next section, you will learn more demanding exercises for controlling your arousal and becoming the multi orgasmic man. But they are based on your being highly aware of your pleasure, so we begin here is self-pleasuring.
If you are able to experience the involuntary PC contractions that occur at contractile-phase orgasm without ejaculating, you have already taken the right road to becoming a the multi orgasmic man. If you actually have two of these mini-orgasms, you already are! These will not be earth-shattering orgasms at first, but eventually they will spread throughout your body. For now just enjoy the shivering feeling of these mini-orgasms. The multi orgasmic man described his experience: "Just as I am about to reach the point of ejaculation, I stop and relax and breathe. It's almost as if I asm letting myself go or fall back into a non-ejaculatory orgasm. Sometimes it feels like a pleasurable twitch in my prostate. Other times I can feel it throughout my whole genitals and it's as intense?more intense than an ejaculatory orgasm. My wife often can't tell whether I have ejaculated or not until I tell her."
If you have not yet started to feel the contractile-phase orgasm, and if the pressure in your pelvis feels uncomfortable, you can try the Pelvic Massage exercise described later or you can just ejaculate. Drawing the sexual energy away from your pelvis and massaging your pelvis will help decrease the pressure that all men feel when they begin. Also, if you crest over accidentally, don't give yourself a hard time. You are just beginning to learn the practice and to gain control of your arousal rate.
1. Start by lubricating your penis. Lubricant will increase your sensations. Oil is generally better than lotion, which dries up more quickly.
2. Pleasure yourself however you like, remembering to massage and stimulate your entire penis, your scrotum, and your perineum, including the Million-Dollar Point.
3. Try to notice your increasing levels of arousal: notice the tingling at the root of your penis, notice the stages of erection, notice your heartbeat rise.
4. When you are getting near ejaculation, stop and rest. Try to notice the contraction of your PC muscle and anus that occurs at contractile-phase orgasm, although don't be surprised if it takes some time to experience this without ejaculating. You can also try to squeeze your PC muscle around your prostate if the prostate starts contracting and you are afraid you might fall over the edge.
5. After you regain control, you can start again as many times as you like and continue for as long as you like.
Male Multiple Orgasm – The Secret Revealed
What exactly is male multiple orgasm? Is it anything like a regular orgasm or is it completely different?
Is it better than a regular orgasm? Is it a lot of work? Is it different from female multiple orgasm?
Can any man have one? Your head is probably spinning from all of the questions you have at this very moment. And let us not forget the most important one of all: How do you do it?
Male Multiple Orgasm
A multiorgasmic man, quite simply, is a man who can have two or more orgasms in a row without resting. He does not experience any significant down time between his orgasms. A multiorgasmic man is able to maintain his erection, even though he has already had an orgasm, and continue making love from orgasm to orgasm. Unlike most "normal" men, a multiorgasmic man does not lose his ability to stay erect after his first orgasm. He can continue to a second or even
a third or fourth orgasm without resting.
This is not the same as having two or more orgasms in an afternoon of lovemaking with periods of rest or breaks in between. The multiorgasmic man does not need a rest. He might want to, and he certainly can, if he or his partner wishes, but he doesn't have to stop. He is capable of continuing to make love immediately after orgasm.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
There are some men, particularly young men, who are just plain lucky. These guys are naturals. Their How to Make Love All Night physiology is such that they don't lose their erections after orgasm, or they regain their erections so quickly that intercourse is barely interrupted. Men like this are "born" multiorgasmic. Maybe there was a time in your life when you were this lucky too. But chances are, those days are gone. Well, the good news is that you don't have to be lucky anymore to be multiorgasmic. There is another way to acquire this ability, and it works regardless of your age, your experience, or your God-given talents.
The secret to becoming multiorgasmic is actually quite simple. The secret, for most men who have mastered the ability, lies in learning to have a complete orgasm without ejaculating. That's right, a full, powerful orgasm or two, or three, or more-with no ejaculation. Without ejaculation there is no refractory period-no down time. That means there is no significant loss of erection, leaving you free to continue having intercourse until you reach the point where you are ready to have an orgasm with simultaneous ejaculation.
ORGASM WITHOUT EJACULATION! . . . ARE YOU CRAZY?
Now, I know that this may not sound as simple as it sounds. There's a really good chance that at this moment it all sounds very weird, or even impossible.As far as most men are concerned, there is no such thing as an orgasm without ejaculation. It's a package deal, like thunder and lightning, right? Wrong. This may be hard to believe, but as most sex therapists will confirm, orgasm and ejaculation in males are two separate things. Yes, they typically occur together, and yes, it feels as though they are a package deal. But the physiological reality is that they are not inseparable. It is possible to have a full orgasm without a simultaneous ejaculation, and therein lies the key to becoming multiorgasmic. Learn how to separate them, and you're on your way.
At the time, you may not have thought much of it, or you might have found it confusing. Most men who experience this unintentionally think that it's an accident or some strange quirk. Many worry that something might be wrong with them, but very few men think of it as an experience worth recapturing, let alone perfecting. If you did, you probably wouldn't be reading this book right now you'd be out there doing it. But believe me, I know hundreds of men who would gladly tell you that a nonejaculatory orgasm is an experience worth recapturing and worth perfecting. These men will also tell you that if you've never had a nonejaculatory orgasm, you need to start. And that's what you're going to do, wit
Meet James, a Multiorgasmic Man
James is one of the several multiorgasmic men you'll hear about, a man who has been practicing these techniques for almost eight years. I want you to read James's story first because his method of having multiple orgasms most closely resembles the style we focus on here. You may not necessarily have intercourse for the same length of time as James does, but the techniques you use will not differ significantly.
When James and his partner Sharon make love, he typically takes ten minutes or more before he has an orgasm. He starts intercourse slowly and lets his arousal build. Then the instant before he is about to ejaculate, he thrusts deeply into Sharon and squeezes the muscle that runs from the base of the penis to the area behind his testicles. This allows him to have a full orgasm-including rapid heart rate, muscle contractions, and that incredible sensation of release-without an ejaculation.
James maintains his erection, continues to make love, and has two to four more orgasms this way. When he wants to stop making love, he has a final orgasm and ejaculates. James is able to do this because he has achieved good control of the pelvic muscles that spasm when a man ejaculates.
James usually lets his partner's desires guide him. If Sharon wants to have intercourse for a long time, he simply delays his ejaculation until she's had all she wants. In the meantime, he may have three or four full orgasms. If Sharon wants to make it a shorter evening, James complies happily. Some nights are marathons and some nights are quickies. The important thing is, it's their decision.
Alan used to have one quick orgasm when he made love and then call it a night. Today, however, Alan is a two-orgasm guy. When he is making love with his wife, Alan's first orgasm tends to come on rather quickly-within five minutes or less. But Alan has learned to contract his PC muscle at just the right moment before his climax, and this completely suppresses his ejaculation. Alan calls this first orgasm his "dry" orgasm. This is usually his most powerful orgasm, but it is just the beginning of his lovemaking.
With orgasm number one out of the way, Alan "settles in" for the slow journey to orgasm number two. What Alan likes to do here is time his second orgasm so that it occurs with, or just after, his wife's orgasm. Alan and his wife find this to be extremely gratifying for both of them. Alan's wife tends to need prolonged intercourse before she can climax, which is why she was so enthusiastic about helping Alan learn these techniques.
Alan and his wife have developed a set of nonverbal signals (winks, nods, squeezes, etc.) that help them get their timing right. When it is time for their mutual climax, Alan just relaxes all of the muscles he tensed first time, and has a second full orgasm, complete with ejaculation. Alan says, "The first one is for me … The second one is for both of us."
Multiorgasmic Male: Some Variations on a Theme
The exercises here will teach you what I believe to be the simplest, most effective way for a man to become multiorgasmic. But that's just the beginning. Once you have mastered these techniques, you may go on to develop your own unique style. In the many years I have worked with men, I have seen all kinds of interesting variations on the theme of multiple orgasm. For example, while most men achieve multiple orgasms by delaying ejaculation, some are able to have partial or even complete ejaculations without losing their erections. While most men spread out their orgasms through a prolonged session of lovemaking, some men experience all of their orgasms in rapid-fire succession.
There is no predicting what you will be capable of or what will feel best to you. Your body is unique, and it will respond in a unique way. Maybe you will develop some variation I have yet to see. Wouldn't that be great?
I want to introduce you to two other multiorgasmic men whose styles are quite different from James and Alan's so that you can get a sense of the many possibilities that lie ahead. As you read their stories, remember that as different as these styles may seem, all four men started their multiorgasmic "careers" with the same basic techniques.
Bob Can Ejaculate More Than Once Without Losing His Erection
Bob has a very different way of reaching multiple orgasms. When Bob makes love to his wife he tends to begin by thrusting very vigorously and often ejaculates within about five minutes. However, after ejaculating, he has learned to maintain both his erection and his arousal, and he continues to thrust slowly. Within minutes he is able to have another complete ejaculation and orgasm, as strong as the first. If he chooses, he can continue making love in this fashion, having as many as five or six orgasms and ejaculations within an hour.
Bob's ability to extend his lovemaking in this fashion gives his wife Janice the extra time she needs to reach her own peak. This is something she was unable to do with Bob before he developed this ability. Janice and Bob used to compensate for their incompatibility with oral sex or manual manipulation, but Janice always felt somewhat disappointed that she was unable to reach her orgasm through straight intercourse. Today, Janice is a very satisfied woman.
Bob's style of multiple orgasm is called multiejaculation, and it is a more advanced and difficult technique to master than James's. What Bob has learned to do is shorten his refractory period, thereby shortening the length of time it takes him to become aroused again after he has ejaculated.
John's Pattern Resembles Many Women's Experience
When making love, John usually thrusts for approximately ten or fifteen minutes until he has a very strong orgasm with a partial ejaculation. After this, his penis becomes even more sensitive, adding to his pleasure. His erection does not dissipate and he continues to thrust vigorously. Then, within a short period of time, he experiences a series of smaller orgasms, almost like aftershocks.
John's experience is most similar to a type of multiple orgasm many women experience. This style of multiple orgasm is not uncommon for multiorgasmic men. I have heard many stories of men who developed this technique on their own by actually mimicking the breathing patterns and muscle movements of multiorgasmic women. The interesting thing about John is that he no longer has to try to make any of this happen. He has conditioned his body so well that this aftershock response is now completely automatic, happening every time he has an orgasm.
James, Bob, John, and Alan are all multiorgasmic men, although, as you can see, the experience of having multiple orgasms is somewhat different for each of them. But James, Bob, John, and Alan have something else in common. None of them were naturally multiorgasmic. All of them learned to have multiple orgasms by using the exact same techniques presented here!
Male multiple orgasm is nothing new. Eastern cultures, for example, have been aware of male multiple orgasm and nonejaculatory orgasm (NEO) for many years, and it is not difficult to find references to it in their tantric literature and historical literature. High up on mountaintops in faraway lands, both men and women have been having a good old time for a long, long time.
Male multiple orgasm is well documented in professional publications. Knowledge of this phenomenon has not been restricted to a handful of enlightened souls living on distant shores. References to male multiple orgasm, some dating back as far as the 1930s, can be found in numerous books and journal articles available at most college libraries right here in the good old United States.
If you're not a multiorgasmic male, you might be inclined to think that a nonejaculatory orgasm wouldn't feel all that fabulous-that it might be a bit feeble, relatively speaking. I can understand why it's probably hard to imagine that an orgasm without an ejaculation could possibly feel as intense as the old reliable orgasm/ejaculation combo. But have I got a surprise for you. More than half the men I have spoken to report that their nonejaculatory orgasms are more powerful than any traditional orgasm they ever had. That's right . . . not just as good as a traditional orgasm . . . better! When you hear these men explain their experiences, it begins to make sense.
The nonejaculatory orgasm is actually more intense in some ways because you are planning it, leading up to it, and you know it is going to happen. In my "previous sex life," even though every orgasm had an ejaculation with it, sometimes the orgasm was not very strong because I wasn't totally expecting it or I was actually trying to hold it back so it got sort of muffled. Sometimes I would actually have an ejaculation without an orgasm. That was very unpleasant.
Are you feeling a little more convinced?
I have heard comments like these over and over and over again. I'm not surprised anymore, but I'm always impressed. I bet you're impressed too, but I bet you're also getting anxious. We can talk and talk and talk about the wonders of male multiple orgasm, but there comes a time when you've got to get down to business. Every day, more and more men are becoming multiorgasmic, and I think it's time you had your chance.
How to make a woman orgasm?
How to make a woman orgasm – the ultimate question? Women's genitals are a sensitive and complex nerve network, and it is up to you to find it. Here we're going to get up close and personal with the ins and outs of the female sexual anatomy and response, and you will find out How to make a woman orgasm?
I will break in two ways: namely, the external anatomy (vulva) and internal anatomy (vagina). We'll start with the external structures, because here we find the very sensitive clitoris. The key, of course, to almost every single orgasm any woman has.
External Female Sexual Anatomy
The clitoris is a small and very sensitive organ that is very important for sexual response in women.
There are two main parts of the clitoris (external):
1. The shaft
2. The glans (or the clitoral head)
The glans is visible, sticking out like a small lump. The shaft disappears into the body beneath the clitoral hood, which is a layer of tissue that passes around the clitoris.
The clitoris varies for different women, as penis size varies among men.
Women have been blessed with a sexual organ, not for reproductive purposes – but only for getting pleasure. It has over 8,000 nerve endings which are intricately networked with the nerves throughout the pelvic region.
The shaft of the clitoris extends into the body and then splitting into two legs forms an upside down "V" (the clitoral crura) which lie on the both sides of the vaginal opening.
But the main feature of the inner part of the clitoris is the fact that the clitoris surrounds the urethra (the passage where the urine exits the bladder).
What does this mean?
It means that the pleasurable sensations of stimulating the "G-Spot", is through contact with the inside of the clitoris.
This may also explain the vaginal orgasm, because the internal parts of the clitoris are stimulated.
Mons pubis is the fatty pad of tissue that is covered by pubic hair. It is located at the top of the pubic bone and on top of the internal structures of the clitoris.
Inner Lips (Labia Minora):
The labia minora are the fleshy hairless inner lips that lie on either sides of the vaginal entrance. The inner lips come together at the top forming the clitoral hood.
Outer Lips (Labia Majora):
The outer lips are rounded pads of fatty tissue lying on either sides of the vaginal entrance.
You'll find it at the bottom of the vagina, where the inner lips meet.
The perineum most commonly referred to as the "taint", is the area between the vaginal opening and the anus.
Although she may disagree with you, the anus is a very erogenous zone. But to stimulate it does not require penetration. The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings, and can feel pleasurable when stimulated. Remember however that any anal play requires careful attention to hygiene, because the anus and rectum contain bacteria.
Interior Female Sexual Anatomy
The vagina is a tube-shaped organ where the penis is inserted during sex But what you might not know is that most of the nerve supply to the vagina to the lower 1/3, near the entrance. In other words, the most sensitive area of a woman's vagina is near the front.
On the other hand, the deeper two-thirds of the vagina contain hardly any nerve endings!
If you have a long penis, then chances are you'll be hitting the cervix as you are thrusting in. Some women enjoy it when others will tell you that it is irritating. If that's the case, you might need to change your thrusting angles or sexual position.
Locating the G-SPOT
The G-Spot is located one and a half to two inches up, on the anterior (toward the front) wall of the vagina, at about 12 o'clock, or really anywhere between 11:00 and 1:00.
As you begin your explorations, start with inserting your forefinger gently inside of her, curving and hooking it behind the pubic bone, and then moving it forward, in the "cum-hitcher" motion.
Now with your fingers, move them in "zig-zag" pattern. Essentially what you are doing is scanning the ceiling of the vaginal wall for her G-Spot.
Once you feel a small mound of spongy tissue that ranges in size from that of nickel and quarter and having a rough texture different than the immediate surrounding tissue – you have found it.
The G-Spot swells up and gets bigger the more she is aroused, so if you are having trouble finding it, chances are, she might be not aroused enough.
More about the G-Spot
If you can manage to master the secrets of the G-Spot stimulation, you'll be in a great shape with your lovers, likely claiming the honor as one of satisfying and amazing lovers they have ever had.
That's because G-Spot orgasms tend to be felt at a deeper level and more intensely than clitoral orgasm alone. They also offer the additional spiff of being able to occur consecutively, with no "established" upper limit. And if you really get it down, she might even ejaculate.
These are the key secrets that separate the men from the boys. Unfortunately, it's actually a safe estimation that less than 1% of the world's population of men is able to repeatedly find, and then properly stimulate, their lovers G-Spot.
The A-Spot (sometimes known as the AFE-zone – Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone or Epicenter) is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner end of the vaginal tube between the cervix and the bladder.
Unlike the G-Spot, which is the shallow part of the vaginal depths, the A-Spot is found all the way in. Penetrate using your middle finger, maneuvering up and all the way to the back. You will find it just in front of her cervix, where there will be either a bit of tenting or ballooning of the vaginal wall in that area.
Also, unlike the G-Spot where the texture is rough, the texture of the A-Spot is smooth.
To stimulate the A-Spot, you can use the fingering method mentioned above, or rear-entry sexual positions, as well as frontal positions where you can hike her legs up for good, deep thrusting.
Other Erogenous Zones
There is much more to lover's sexual network than what's in between her legs. Her entire body, from the tip of her toes to the top of her oral pleasure, abounds with opportunities to pleasure her.
Sexy and sensitive, the neck is ideal for, well, necking. Kissing, nuzzling, sucking and licking, as well as nibbling and massaging, are great ways to get her in the mood. But be careful – hickies are tacky. Start slow and then increase your intensity.
The human ear contains bundles of nerve endings that equate to increased sensitivity. Capitalize on that by massaging them, kissing them, tickling them with your breath and whispering to them to really drive her wild.
Her Lips and Mouth
Once things start heating up, don't neglect those kisses. Kiss her deeply, passionately. Nibble her lips every now and then. Remembering to make up can really fire up your erotic playtime.
Because of the shield of hair that most likely covers your lovers oral pleasure, the skin of the scalp can be incredibely sensitive to direct touch. Massage her scalp, run your fingers trough her hair, brush her hair, look for ways to pleasure her in this manner too. How to make a woman orgasm?
Aside from being incredibely sexy, breasts are also incredibely sensitive. There are some women out there who report being able to achive orgasm from breasts stimulation alone. Stroking, fondling, kissing, nibbling and tweacking the breasts and nipples are just a few ways you might want to give the twins a little extra attention.
While the anus is sensitive, here I'm talking about the actual flesh on her bottom. The skin can be highly sensitive, and spanking, stroking and kissing or gently biting the flesh can really make her toes curl.
P.S. Do you want to know more about How to make a woman orgasm? - Keep reading!
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How to make a woman orgasm – Erectile Dysfunction Remedies? You and I both know that sex and the ultimate peak of orgasm are an important and essential, part of healthy, normal life. That's because having an orgasm releases a powerful chemical cocktail, that among other things:
- Reduces stress
- Reduces tension
- Clears your mind
Kama Raja contains the 12 most potent aphrodisiac herbal concentrates available in Ayurvedic Science and backed by clinical studies. When formulated in the correct amounts and blended by our proprietary process, 261 natural phytonutrients exert 507 synergistic activities on your body to successfully stimulate sexual activity. They maintain a firm erection, and increase sexual pleasure and fertility in a safe and natural manner with no side effects.
Kama Raja's revolutionary formulation also provides total systemic support for men who wish to stay strong and healthy long-term. Get rid of the erectile dysfunction with the best natural erectile dysfunction remedies!!!
Kama Raja nourishes and stimulates the nervous system to relieve effects of stress. Restores core energy by increasing hemoglobin production and removing toxins. Stimulates liver functions to improve strength and stamina. Elevates testosterone levels to intensify virility. Stimulates the hypothalamus and pituitary glands to release growth hormone and boost sperm production. Nourishes the reproductive system. Makes erogenous zones more sensitive and promotes blood flow to the extremities to increase libido. Enhances release of metabolic energy to "warm the loins", and calms the mind to avert premature ejaculation.
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What is Erectile Dysfunction (ED)?
Erectile dysfunction (ED), also known as ED, is the inability to achieve and sustain an erection for sexual intercourse. This condition is not considered normal at any age and is different from other problems that interfere with sexual intercourse, such as lack of sexual desire and problems with ejaculation and orgasm.
In order for erection to occur, the nerves of the penis must be functioning properly. Blood circulation to the penis must be adequate. There must be proper stimulus from the brain. If something interferes with any or all of these conditions, a full erection is not possible. Some men aren’t able to get an erection at all. Others can get one, but it’s not hard enough for pleasurable intercourse. While others get a hard erection but lose it before or during sex.
According to the National Institutes of Health, a majority of men at some point in their life experience occasional failure to achieve erection which can occur for a variety of reasons such as drinking too much alcohol or from being extremely tired. Failure to achieve erection less than 20% of the time is not unusual and medical treatment is rarely needed. But the causes for this minor problem might lead to a permanent condition where failure to achieve erection occurs more than 50% of the time. Once this stage of erectile dysfunction (ED) is reached, medical treatment is required to reverse the situation.
The following men report occasional problems getting and maintaining erections:
- 40% of men in their 40's
- 52% of men aged 40 to 70
- 70% of men in their 70's
At least 20 million American men have some degree of erectile dysfunction (ED) and about 1 in 10 adult males suffers long-term from ED. Approximately 5 percent of 40-year-old men and between 15 and 25 percent of 65-year-old men experience erectile dysfunction (ED) on a long-term basis.
Your risk for erectile dysfunction increase with the following factors:
1. Anxiety – where one incidence of ED spirals into fear of sexual failure resulting in ongoing ED
2. Atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) – accounts for 50% to 60% of ED in men 60 and older
4. Diabetes – approximately 42% of men with diabetes have ED due to nerve damage caused by diabetes
5. Drinking Alcohol
6. Excess Weight
7. Guilt – caused by inability to satisfy a partner
8. High Cholesterol
10. Indifference to Sex
11. Infrequent Exercise
12. Kidney Disease
13. Low self-esteem
14. Low Testosterone Levels – caused by aging or problems with pituitary gland, thyroid gland, liver, or testes
16. Recreational Drugs
18. Spinal Core Injuries
19. Stress – related to career, money, relationship problems
Western medicine relies on aggressive prescription drugs and surgery to deal with many problems related to sexual dysfunction. These methods generally address only the symptoms of erectile dysfunction and not the underlying causes. As soon as you stop using the drugs, the problem returns! And vascular reconstructive surgery for improving blood supply to the penis has a success rate of only 5%, is prohibitively expensive This carries the risk of infection and complications. The best natural Erectile Dysfunction Remedies? (CLICK HERE TO BUY IT)
Also prescription drugs often result in unwanted and even dangerous side effects. For example, the combined side-effects of Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra include abdominal pain, abnormal vision, back pain, bronchitis, changes in vision, cough, diarrhea, dizziness, dyspepsia, fainting, flushing, gastroenteritis viral, gastroesophageal reflux, headache, hypertension, influenza, itching or burning during urination, myalgia, nasal congestion, nasopharyngitis, pain in extremity, pain in limb, painful erection, prolonged erection (longer than 4 hours), rash, sudden loss of eyesight, upper respiratory tract infection, upset stomach, and urinary tract infection.
Non-medical methods of penis enhancement through exercise using weights, straps, rings, and pumps have proven destructive to muscle tissue.
Ayurveda, the science of life, prevention and longevity, is the oldest and most holistic and comprehensive medical system available. Its fundamentals can be found in Hindu scriptures called the Vedas – the ancient Indian books of wisdom written over 5,000 years ago. Ayurveda uses the inherent principles of nature to help maintain health in a person by keeping the individual's body, mind, and spirit in perfect equilibrium with nature.
India Herbs has a seasoned group of Ayurvedic doctors specialized in Vajikarana, one of the eight major specialties of Ayurveda. Vajikarana is "a process or a drug, which make a man sexually as strong as a horse and able to copulate for long and frequently with many wives and partners." Vajikarana prescribes the therapeutic use of various aphrodisiacs and tonic preparations for enhancing the reproductive capabilities and vigor of men while strengthening the body and overall well-being.
India Herbs' Vajikarana doctors combine a proprietary herbal formula based on centuries' old wisdom with advice on diet, exercise, mental training, and relaxation to help men reach their peak and overcome sexual concerns through safe means.
You can improve your sexual performance for the long-term by:
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2) Quitting Smoking and Limiting or Avoiding Alcohol and Caffeine
3) Exercising Regularly – A minimum of 20 minutes exercise daily will significantly improve your cardiovascular system and energy level, and reduce stress, tension, anxiety, and depression.
4) Eating Well-Balanced Meals
5) Getting Enough Sleep
6) Minimizing Stress – Stay positive, accept things beyond your control, set realistic goals and expectations, share troubled thoughts with family members and friends, learn to relax through "quiet time", deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and other relaxation techniques.
Results: The precise combination of ingredients in Kama Raja along with a mind-body focus precisely addresses the sexual concerns of men!
P.S. Do you still want to know How to make a woman orgasm?